Life, Love and the Everyday

Life Today I had a terrible epiphany that is really so shameful I will definitely regret saying it at all! I think my writers block is the equivalent of Erectile Dysfunction! I have all kinds of stories in my head and for some reason unknown to me, I am sitting at half-mast and cannot perform! I start writing something that I reckon will be fun and then...well, all of my fictional heroes and heroines are disappointed while I am frantically scrambling to revive the excitement and anticipation for their tales. This is one thing that frustrates me about being a writer - lots of good story lines sitting on my desktop but they come to an abrupt pause mid-sentence. I want to write something so sensational that people will still be talking about years from now, the kind of book they will keep in a special place on their book shelves and read it once or twice a year, or whenever the mood strikes them. Something they will always remember an...

With one manuscript finished and in the middle of revision, I can't seem to get excited about writing anything. (Except maybe my blog.) Due to shifting furniture around my little two-bedroom unit, my desk is submerged in everything you can think of except stationary and that is a potential reason why my inspiration is ebbing. But the first and foremost reason could be because when nothing is happening, nothing gets written. This morning I went to the gym for an hour and when I got home I started to tackle the task of laundry. Between laundry and the Sex & The City marathon I had today, I gave myself a make-over in an attempt to make myself somewhat presentable to meet A's boss and co-workers tonight at the Morrison Hotel. Yes, very house-wifey of me, I know. On the days I am not working (which is most days) my uniform is "grandma shoes" and an airy dress. But today I wanted to do something spontaneous for a change. As much as I love being a glorified house-spo...

LIFE: My no-sugar challenge was too good to be true! Four days running I had a bizarre amount of energy, was less stressed and my skin glowed with health. I also lost two kilos. On the scales last Tuesday I was standing on 93 kilos! The closet I have ever gotten to 90 kilos! This morning I am back to 94.4 kilos. I have a feeling the junk food rampage I have been on the past five days has contributed greatly to this debacle. What brought on this relapse? Other than the fact that going cold turkey on sugar was a stupid idea? I guess I should fill you in on the events over the past few days. Let's rewind back to last Wednesday, it was the Ladies Breakfast Club Christmas Party. The Ladies Breakfast Club is a Bible connect group which meets on the third Wednesday of every month. Our group consists of women from all walks of life. Elderly pensioners, career women, house wives and me. I fall into all those three categories with the exception of "elderly". My Mum and I have...

Life After writing potential best sellers, it is very normal for a certain aspiring writer to simply relax and wait for the next best seller to drop into her brain whilst trying, seemingly in vain to look for publishers who are not greenhorn shy. Other than that, the rest is life. These days life is mostly about family, A, work and learning to use a sewing machine. You might say "Big deal!" but I am fixated on the goal of sewing my own wedding dress when the time rolls around, so I have to get in lots of practice! Love A. and I are going absolutely, spiffing, awesomely fantastic and needless to say, I am a very happy lady! & The Everyday... Stifled by the clutter of A.'s and my humble dwelling, I walked to one of my local libraries in hope that a window of inspiration would open. And it certainly did, I just didn't know it at the time. I walked past "I Quit Sugar For Life" by Sarah Wilson once or twice before picking it up and reading the b...

Psalms 138:8 The Lord will fulfil his purpose for me, your love O Lord endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands. _________________________________________________________________________________ Saying Yes to God is the best thing I have ever done. Sounds like a typical Jesus freak cliché, I know. But as you read this blog I hope you fully understand why I live for Christ. As a five year old child I was diagnosed with Audio-Processing, a mild form of Autism. The doctor shook his head sadly and told my Mum point-blanc that I would never amount to much in life, that I would never gain maturity, make my own choices, have a career, have a husband or family. I  don't know how much my Mum's heart broke at that moment, but I know now that she was angry enough to make sure that I broke out of that box that the doctor put me in. Twenty years later, I have matured, it may take me a few moments but I can process things, I have a calling on my life ...

I have been really blessed with my friendships, past and present, even though some of them had to come to an end. There is a scripture in the Bible which refers to friendship "Surely as iron sharpens iron, so does a good friend." Friends like that are truly a treasure, because they love you enough to tell you the truth, friends who don't are quite the opposite. Lately I have been hanging out a lot with my friend Chantelle, she is absolutely adorable, blue eyes with a quick smile and so much fun to be around! She totally gets why animated Disney guys are hot, so she understands my school girl crush on General Cheng from Mulan! She also has a crush on Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty! We make the most hysterical of friends because furniture in department stores have become a stage for D&M's. A couple of weeks ago a bemused clerk asked us if we needed any help (we were sitting face to face on a couple of girlie beds) and Chantelle blurted out. "We're fi...

LIFE has been absolute bonkers for the past week! Five solid days of work which will probably make me weep with joy when I see the numbers in my bank account! Work itself was pretty awesome, words cannot say how much I love the kids I work with - seriously, if you ever want to get things into perspective just ask a kid! To wind down from the work week, *A and I walked down to the pub with my friend Mads and after one cocktail both of us mustered the courage to submit three songs to sing together. Mads and I belted out the lyrics to "We're All Gonna Die Someday" by Kasey Chambers, "Keep Yours Hands To Yourself" by Georgia Satellites and then A* and I sang our first duet together, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. It's all on video but I have been forbidden to share! *A went solo and sang Vanilla Ice, its FRICKIN SMOKIN' HOT in red capital letters! There was this really gorgeous, forty-something year old brunette who was shaking her butt in his direct...

Life: Ever since I have made peace with deciding between my writing and childcare, things have kind of picked up a little bit. That could also be because I have been working out at the gym more this past week. My .P.T has told me no bread, no chocolate, no lollies for eight weeks! What do I do a week and a half in? Well, that shot to hell pretty fast! Got tipsy on Saturday night at the PigN'Whistle in Brunswick Street at a friends birthday party, apparently I was drunk but I rigidly maintain that I was just a little "happier" than normal!  I know in my earlier posts this year I portrayed myself as somebody a little bit uptight, so...SURPRISE! Love: Because A. is the big 3.0 and I am twenty-five, we are being bombarded with well-meaning folks asking us when we are going to "put on a ring on it", Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" has a lot to answer for! I have to say though, I am kind of subconsciously thinking along those lines too if belting out Ge...

"Life holds few distinctions, my dear. But I think we may safely boast that here sit two of the silliest girls in England." - Mr. Bennett, Pride & Prejudice. Mr. Bennett was wrong, life holds distinctions every other day - and silly girls don't just exist in England. Out of all the Bennett girls in Pride & Prejudice, I can relate to Lydia the best. She was a hard-core dreamer and romantic, just like I was at fifteen. That didn't change - until today when something just clicked in my brain; it sounded like one of those game show buzzers and I felt the ringing vibration in my ears like I do whenever I have a great idea or revelation. In this particular case it was a revelation as clear as a Swarvoski crystal. Dreaming is awesome but it can be disheartening when you are in your head so much that you cannot reconcile dreams with reality. And maybe that is why I feel like I am on the rat-wheel, why I felt torn between my passion and my dream....

I may seem happy-go-lucky and usually, I am. I have goals, visions and dreams about the kind of person I want to be - which is brave, strong, competent and confident, successful and happy. I know that I am strong and happy. But the rest of my "I want to be..." list is still a work in progress. Right now I feel like I am running on a rat wheel which keeps me running faster and faster, I don't know to bring that rat wheel down to a more manageable speed, or if I am running hard enough to keep the rat wheel turning. I'll be honest with you, sometimes it feels like I am not really getting anywhere at all. I know that sounds pathetically melodramatic, I have been accused of being a drama queen more than once. I kind of have this fear that things will stay the same - and I know they will, if I don't play my part to change them. I don't want to stay on the Rat Wheel anymore, I want to run along the path that I created for myself, brick by brick. And I know what ...

LIFE... As I was having an inner-hissy fit this afternoon and was considering putting it up on FACEBOOK - something like: "Hello Hormones! I have not seen you in ages! Why did I want to grow up so bad?!" - I realised that there is a big difference between Getting Older and Growing Up. Getting Older is pretty obvious - growth spurt, hair growth in alarming places - I look like a pin-up for the dark side of puberty right now and I am twenty five for goodness sake! Then there is Growing Up - which is more of an internal change; whether its having more patience, handling tricky situations with more thought and discernment, knowing that what you do or don't do today affects you, the people you love, your tomorrow, foreseeable future and the future. I like to think I have grown up - although I guess other people would know better! And no - in case you are wondering I did not post that little rant on FACEBOOK, I am trying to keep my sharing to a minimum. Yes, Growing Up is...

LIFE: I think it is safe to say that Winter has fled Brisbane and Spring has taken over its rent. The sky is a lovely light blue and the sun is hiding behind ivory clouds. No harsh wind but a gentle breeze stirs. I see odes to Spring everywhere, mostly in fashion. Everywhere I look there is a cluster of bright colours; red, pink, orange, yellow and green. On the whole, life is going really good. I have a new motto which is "Work hard, Play harder" and that is the way I like it. Learning to breathe a little deeper and just enjoy the here and now rather than think "Once I do this, I can have that", "When I have a job I can do more", it took me awhile to realise that having mentality is not productive, as well as utter hogwash! LOVE: A. and I are going strong, we are making the most of everyday and are in the process of arranging two holidays; Melbourne for Christmas with his relatives and Sydney next year in 2015. I love Brisbane, but every now a...

OKAY...so that was a pretty hectic week! Yesterday was my fifth day back in the work place, I have been blessed with quite a few shifts. I think it was a sheer miracle that I finished the week, because I have been fighting off a cold. Sore throat, runny nose, coughing up phlegm but it wasn't bad enough for me to stay in bed all day - no siree! I can't stay at home if I know that there is another staff member who is way more sick than I am and still turns up! In Brisbane the evenings seem to stretch on endlessly, which is great if you have white blinds and want to get a few of extra hours sleep in! The mornings are frigid and I feel like giving the evil-eye to people who are running around in singlets! Not that I can talk, on Monday I wore a long shirt beneath my work uniform and a cardigan and I think that is why I have been sick. Being back at work has been really awesome, it seems I have been able to pick up where I left off last year; although there is something...

How exactly did I realise that I am ill-equipped to offer support and advice to people? Some people, within moments of meeting me. Tell me what hurts them most, because I am a good listener and offer them a shoulder to cry on. But there is one thing about me that these people do not know, I do not have the answers; even though my advice is sound, I feel helpless because I cannot fix their problems. Ever feel like what you say isn't enough to help your friends and family and people in general? Like everything you have experienced is so far removed from what their life experiences have been and you want to help them but don't feel qualified to give them advice on life and everything in between? Yeah, well, I've just joined that club. I even mentally thought of a poem in my head. If I had a crystal ball I'd tell you everything you want to know. I'd sit down on the couch beside you, to help you figure out where to go. I used to want to be a counsellor beca...

After finally receiving my Blue Card in the mail and beginning my Diploma studies in Childcare - the icing on the cake would have been when my old work called me up on Thursday afternoon and asked me to do a 7:15am-4:15pm shift. I woke up at 4:30am  because I was a tiny bit nervous and excited about going back to work after a year off. It was ten degrees when I walked out the front door, dressed in my old work uniform carrying my bag with everything I needed for the day. Waking up early may be a pain in the ass, but there is something truly magical when you watch the day begin. Because my connecting bus would not have got me to my destination in time, I opted for a taxi and hurried back home quickly so I would be there when it arrived. My taxi driver was a nice fellow, we talked about it being my first day back at work, how important the first five years of childhood is before talking about Aboriginal and Australian history, which I have been studying in childca...

Blog Monsters! Remember yesterday when I said that I wanted to find work before studying? A few blogs ago I mentioned something about registering with a childcare relief agency but the only glitch was waiting on my Blue Card? It's crazy! My Blue Card came in last week and then BAM! I heard from the company asking me if I was still interested in working with them - naturally, the answer was YES! So now I have my Blue Card, a job which will hopefully produce a steady cash-flow and this morning I enrolled into a childcare diploma course online! Who would have thought that enrolling into a course would make me snap into cleaning mode? Then again, I'm not surprised - I used to be incredibly messy and disorganised before I studied my certificate III in Children's Services and within one week, BOOM! I was tidy and more organised. Any how, I just wanted to share my great news and I hope you are all having a great week! Before I leave you to your devices, agendas and inner...

I am feeling really good these days, with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. I feel confident and my passion is back and in full-speed ahead mode. I know that I am halfway between where I'm at and where I want to be. I don't know what got into me but I have this new found zeal and wanting to do something with my life which is really meaningful. Becoming more involved in children's ministry in my church seems like a great way to start, making the change from monthly to weekly and with the new church being ready in a few weeks time; it is the perfect season to throw myself back into the things that I loved to do before getting sick last year. Except this time, I'm one year older, a little wiser and know my limits. Enrolling into an online course at Southbank Institute of Technology also seems like another natural step to take but first I need to start working again.  I am a little less stressed about finding work now that A. and I have decided not to jum...

How are those 2014 goals coming? Have you shaken off the blues from 2013? I like to think that I am heading back into the middle of the axis again after tottering to the edges. What last year taught me was that I didn't know everything and I never will, that I was stronger than I had originally thought and to take better care of my mind, body and soul. Most of all, it drew me closer to God than I ever thought I could possibly get to him. What I learnt about God personally was that he loved me more than I could fathom, that when bad things happen it is not him punishing and condemning me for past sins. Through my own mistakes and vices with a slight shove from Lucifer - I fell down into a rabbit hole   of anxiety, depression and second-guessing how the people I loved really felt about me. Fortunately for me, God saw what was really in my heart and healed my spirit first, then my mind.  Although its been hard for me and my partner, A. I know people who hav...

Hello all! Wow! I cannot believe that we are six months into the year - where did the time go? The job front is activated but unfortunately I am still waiting for my blue card. (sigh) Good things come to those who wait, yeah? Although I have two guaranteed positions through a child care relief agency, myself and my job search marketer have been putting in a lot of effort in order to get me back into work in a more consistent position. I have started driving lessons again, yesterday was my fifth lesson and I am happy to say that I am making good progress. My driving overall is excellent, but in order to sit for my test I need to perfect my lane-changing technique because I have this habit of looking too long in the mirror before changing lanes and accidentally moving the car in the direction that I'm looking, I need to be able to use the gears with finesse and master single and double-lane islands because I nearly collided with a small, silver car that was hiding behind a...

Just when I thought I was about to go completely off the deep end due to writers withdrawal symptoms, Dad brought me my laptop! Hello again blogger community! Incase you are curious, I have had not been called in for work experience again but I am happy with the little I have learnt so far. Tomorrow I have a job interview at a café in town, the name of the café sounds cool so I am hoping that it is one of those laid-back places where the uniform is smart casual. But to be on the safe side, I am wearing all black. I am still volunteering every Friday afternoon and evening at my church café, I help shop for the groceries and have memorised all of the shopping list. I have learned how to make a caramel latte, cappacinos and hot chocolate - my frothing milk technique needs some improvement but I am making good progress. Last Friday was a bit more rougher than usual, while I can successfully operate the eftpos machine the out-of-whack cash register was doing my head in...

Hi everyone! I just want to check in and see how everybody is and bring you up to date about a couple of things in my life. I don't know whether I have broadcasted this or not; but I still don't have a job. However, I have successfully reapplied at my old childcare center and have dropped my resume in at fast food joints, childcare centres and local cafes and restaurants. After much thought and reflection I wandered why I wasn't getting the gigs. Needless to say, I came to the conclusion that my experience wasn't quite enough so I put the wheels in motion to remedy that. There is a new Italian restaurant in my area which is still trying to gain local recognition - so I walked down the street to see if they could offer me any. Because it is so quiet in the restaurant right now, they were happy to give me work experience but they could give me no guarantees on whether they could give me a paid job. That would be nice and all, but I agreed to the work experience b...