Life, Love and the Everyday

At my old house there was a walking track in the park which led to my prayer bench. Nowadays my prayer bench overlooks the Brisbane River. I used to think the Brisbane River was nothing special. I thought it looked bleak and muddy but it wasn't until I saw it everyday that I saw just how beautiful it is. If you see it at dusk or dawn and how it reflects the colors in the sky, you would understand what I mean. Or the way the mid-morning sun rays leave a trail of glimmering diamonds across the surface that makes you want to swim out to find them. Or how the water becomes greener as it reaches the rivers edge where the mangroves thrive. Or how it becomes a witches cauldron that laps and stirs in different directions. I love the river, how it moves with the grace of a waltz. My favorite time of day is standing at the helm of the ferry and being mesmerised by the water. My thoughts and feelings don't matter because there is so much beauty surrounding me.

Sometimes the things we find hardest to forgive are what other people have done out of love for us. There have been times in my life, (as I am sure there has been for you too) situations where the decision that you could have made for yourself was taken away from you. You may have been told it was in the name of your best interest or some other vague reason though it sure as hell doesn't feel like it at the time or at best, you spend months, even years, hurting over a choice that somebody else made for you that was the opposite of what your heart desired. At the time you may have felt too hopeless to do anything, you may have been too young, you might not have been strong or brave enough to go against a decision that was made by somebody else about a choice that you feel should have been yours. The grief, anger and disappointment we feel weighs heavily on our minds and in that head space we look for somebody to blame. Who would be a better candidate than the ones we feel are

Alan and I have lived in our new abode for three weeks this upcoming Sunday and we have settled in really well. Public transport to work is a bit of a time juggle but otherwise, things are going good. What I love about our new home is the ten minute ferry ride I take every early morning and evening. It is absolutely exhilarating standing at the front of the ferry and feeling it glide over small choppy waves. The frigid wind slaps against my face and wakes me up quicker than my morning dose of Moccona. I enjoy watching the enthusiastic kayackers and rowers paddle along the river in the frosty chill of morning, pitting themselves determinedly against the biting wind and rain. At my local park I see children play, families ride their bikes and middle-aged Chinese women do tai-chi in the gazebo and a P.T group being put through their paces. I have been able to pick up on the rythem of this new home and have warmed up to it. I did have my reservations about the move initially but

I am someone who enjoys the quiet life. Tranquil places off the beaten path, calmness in my soul, stability in my relationships and predictability in my routine. After living three years in our cosy little house in the southside of Brisbane, my husband and I are moving onto a new adventure and in my foreseeable future is a lot of adapting to do. We are moving a little further out, for me this move is very emotional because for the past twenty years I have lived inside a particular grid where I can make my way everywhere, by bus or by foot. We are still going to be on the southside but we're going to the other side of the river, it is the furtherest that I have ever moved and when I am not day-dreaming about the lovely walks I will take, strolling through the local Sunday markets or shopping in my new local supermarket - I am fucking terrified, to tell you the truth. Because this grid that I have lived in for so long is practically imbedded in my bones. I used to hate that grid unt

For the last month, I have been thinking about soul ties and after four hours worth of YouTube - I was left with two questions.  What made my soul choose to have these people in my life?   What made their souls choose to have me in theirs?   These two questions drove me crazy for a little bit because I over-analyse things to bits and then I realised that at that time and place, the people who have come and gone out of my life, by their choice or mine, that my soul chose them because at the time it resonated with something in them and there were lessons I needed to learn and conversations I needed to have.   Sometimes the hardest lessons in life are taught to us by the people we love, what the hurt teaches us from those lessons is how we will love ourselves and other people better. When I see things in these relationships begin to unravel and I know the end is nigh, I always ask God.  "Why did it have to be this person to teach me this lesson? Couldn't I have learnt this lesson

Alan and I are moving in June, I am dreading it. Twenty years ago, my family and I moved from the Redlands to Mount Gravatt so we could be walking distance to school. I hated it in the beginning, because life is unpredictable and those of us who don't like changes prefer to be where life is comfortable and familiar. I remember being eleven, awkward and overweight and at that time I just felt like my parents were ruining my life because they wanted to save money on petrol rather than Mum make the half hour journey to drop us off at school and then head home again. Eventually I adjusted to our new home, I can't count the number of times I bumped my toe against the floor eaves, I remember feeling grumpy because I had to wake up earlier to walk to school and my legs were sore from walking. Around that time my Mum enrolled us into dance and drama. I loved dance, hated drama but I did it anyway and six months later, my challenges had become my strengths. Ironically, drama was my fav

Variables is a word I have been tossing around in my head for the past couple of weeks. Something unexpected happened that made me think about the variables in my present and future and where they might take me. I did a bit of Googling into the definition of Variables and according to http://linguistics.byu.edu,there are five different variables and on the website the five variables are used in a different context relating to learning a new language. Yet these five variables had me thinking and I applied this method to my own thought process about what I think and feel about the situation about my present and future health. Late January 2020 brought me an opportunity to address and resolve a few things that I have been putting off for awhile in relation to a health condition I have called Poly Cystic Ovaries Syndrome and I am relieved that this season for me has begun with a relative amount of peace, love and support from my family and close friends and I know when this situation i