The Things We Keep

Alan and I are moving in June, I am dreading it. Twenty years ago, my family and I moved from the Redlands to Mount Gravatt so we could be walking distance to school. I hated it in the beginning, because life is unpredictable and those of us who don't like changes prefer to be where life is comfortable and familiar. I remember being eleven, awkward and overweight and at that time I just felt like my parents were ruining my life because they wanted to save money on petrol rather than Mum make the half hour journey to drop us off at school and then head home again. Eventually I adjusted to our new home, I can't count the number of times I bumped my toe against the floor eaves, I remember feeling grumpy because I had to wake up earlier to walk to school and my legs were sore from walking. Around that time my Mum enrolled us into dance and drama. I loved dance, hated drama but I did it anyway and six months later, my challenges had become my strengths. Ironically, drama was my favourite class in high school. I suppose this is how I will adapt to our new suburb, except this time it feels far away and when the time comes it will be so hard for me to leave this place. There is a quote from Samwise Gamgee in Lord of the Rings when he is about to leave the Shire, a place where he grew up and felt so content but he had to leave it for the greater good. "If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I have ever been." He tells his travelling companion, Frodo Baggins. "Come on, Sam." Frodo replies gently and waits for Sam to take that step before clapping him on the back. I think in this life-time, God sent Alan to be my Frodo. Maybe when I see my photos on the wall, my clothes hanging up in the wardrobe and walk into the local pub in our new neighbourhood, maybe our new life on the other side of the river won't be as scary anymore. Even when I moved out of home I didn't stray too far from Mount Gravatt and a couple of years ago my heart broke a little when we moved out of sight from Mount Gravatt Mountain because where ever I moved after leaving home, I could always see it - the sight of it has always brought me solace and on Saturday nights if you are standing at a small distance you can see the headlights of the cars as they head up and down the mountain. Now I am going to miss the area surrounding my current abode, I'll miss the rambles through the little woodland near my house, I'll miss going to my prayer bench where I sit in nature and talk to God about whatever is weighing on my heart. I'll miss seeing the massive Indian families share meals and throw a ball around in the park on Sunday afternoons. I'll miss going to the cosy library around the corner and the best bakery on the Southside. I guess what I'm trying to say is - I'll miss life as I know it. Between the two of us, Alan and I have more than a decade of stuff to sift through. I tackled my DVD collection first and kept the stuff that I wouldn't see on a shelf at JB HIFI and put the rest in the TO SELL/DONATION pile. A couple of Mondays ago while I still felt ambitious, I sorted through my library. Surprisingly this job was not as taxing as I thought it would be, I wasn't sitting there wondering how the heck I would live without these paperbacks which consisted of romance, thrillers and bodice-rippers. Instead I simply bagged them up and now they are taking up space in our lounge room until we can hold a garage sale. I now I have thirty paper and hard-back books to my name and I have made a commitment to myself that from now on, I am going to buy meaningful books such as Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and because my little foray into trying to grow house plants failed miserably, I'm going to start a crystal and fairy and angel figurine collection to fill up the empty shelves. That way no innocent plants will meet an untimely end by too much sun exposure and too much watering! I feel like I have entered into a new phase of my life where I want my surroundings to reflect who I am now as opposed to who I was ten years ago. When you are growing up you are learning and imitating from the people you look up to or the role models you have and I feel these days that I have found my own unique voice in terms of what I believe in, what I know and feel about the world around me and most of all, what I know and believe about myself. I also know that those things will change and adapt with the seasons. I know one thing for certain though, it isn't the material things that we keep in the long run, it is the memories of those we love that have come and gone and the gratitude we have for the ones that have stayed and helped us in our time of pain and need. Those are the things we keep. - Sarah x