Life, Love and the Everyday

At my old house there was a walking track in the park which led to my prayer bench. Nowadays my prayer bench overlooks the Brisbane River. I used to think the Brisbane River was nothing special. I thought it looked bleak and muddy but it wasn't until I saw it everyday that I saw just how beautiful it is. If you see it at dusk or dawn and how it reflects the colors in the sky, you would understand what I mean. Or the way the mid-morning sun rays leave a trail of glimmering diamonds across the surface that makes you want to swim out to find them. Or how the water becomes greener as it reaches the rivers edge where the mangroves thrive. Or how it becomes a witches cauldron that laps and stirs in different directions. I love the river, how it moves with the grace of a waltz. My favorite time of day is standing at the helm of the ferry and being mesmerised by the water. My thoughts and feelings don't matter because there is so much beauty surrounding me.

Sometimes the things we find hardest to forgive are what other people have done out of love for us. There have been times in my life, (as I am sure there has been for you too) situations where the decision that you could have made for yourself was taken away from you. You may have been told it was in the name of your best interest or some other vague reason though it sure as hell doesn't feel like it at the time or at best, you spend months, even years, hurting over a choice that somebody else made for you that was the opposite of what your heart desired. At the time you may have felt too hopeless to do anything, you may have been too young, you might not have been strong or brave enough to go against a decision that was made by somebody else about a choice that you feel should have been yours. The grief, anger and disappointment we feel weighs heavily on our minds and in that head space we look for somebody to blame. Who would be a better candidate than the ones we feel are

Alan and I have lived in our new abode for three weeks this upcoming Sunday and we have settled in really well. Public transport to work is a bit of a time juggle but otherwise, things are going good. What I love about our new home is the ten minute ferry ride I take every early morning and evening. It is absolutely exhilarating standing at the front of the ferry and feeling it glide over small choppy waves. The frigid wind slaps against my face and wakes me up quicker than my morning dose of Moccona. I enjoy watching the enthusiastic kayackers and rowers paddle along the river in the frosty chill of morning, pitting themselves determinedly against the biting wind and rain. At my local park I see children play, families ride their bikes and middle-aged Chinese women do tai-chi in the gazebo and a P.T group being put through their paces. I have been able to pick up on the rythem of this new home and have warmed up to it. I did have my reservations about the move initially but