Life, Love and the Everyday

Magic has been my word for 2018. I'd like to share a few things that I have learnt over this past year in my journey of reconnecting with who I am. It has been a beautiful year with equal shares of hurt, healing and growth.  I truly feel that 2018 has been one of my best years yet and I am proud of who I have become. Last year at Singapore Airport I picked up a copy of Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic and it was like a magic wand that helped me become clear on not just being creative, but living creatively and fearlessly. I have come a long way from that person with small thinking and a small sense of self and if you have followed my journey from New Years Eve 2013 and seen my spiritual and mental metamorphosis, you would know that something magical happend to me between June 2017 and today.  These are things that I have learnt and I hope that if you are looking for your own magic, that this will help you on your journey to finding it. 1) Accept what is. What you are seei

When people think of magic, they think about crystals, cauldrons and a Hogwarts acceptance letter. Yet there is another magic. The magic that is within us.  We all possess different kinds of magic that are known as virtues and talents.  We may admire someone who is courageous and adventurous who travels the world and narrates documentaries. There are strong, resilient people who take care of others mental, emotional and physical health. There are people that use their voice to fight for justice on behalf of someone else.  You are probably wondering what qualifies me to talk about you and your magic?  I have done many a year of soul-searching. When I realised that I learnt differently than most people, I was angry. It was not until fairly recently that I learnt that everyone, including myself - has super-powers that has nothing to do with what you have, what you are born with, what limits you think you have when it comes to learning and understanding. Everyone was born wit

 Since my 29th birthday in April this year I have been experimenting with make-up, from soft pastels to bold eye-shadow and lipstick combinations. I have always had a flair for dramatic and somewhat eccentric fashion sense. When I was a teenager I really struggled to make some of my more outlandish ideas to fit in with the fashions of that era.  I went through a preppy stage, a punk stage, a goth stage and a bohemian stage.  There were times that I totally nailed it and other times I flunked.   As I grew older I taught myself to hit that perfect medium between "Wow!" And WTF?! After alot of WTF's I have been able to somehow make wild look tame. The trick is for people to look in wonder, not horror. Yet at the same time, if you're gonna try something a little wild then you have to be it, you've gotta have the confidence to pull it off. You need to be able to look people in the eye and smile whether or not they like what you&#

LIFE For the past five months or so I have been working full-time hours. It took a few weeks to get used to but I feel like I'm flying now. I'm happy. There have been a couple of bumps in the road. I have learnt (again) that with hurt and adversity comes wisdom, resilience and strength. LOVE With every day that passes, I'm thankful that when Alan's and my souls crossed paths nearly eight years ago that they recognized each other. Our love story has had alot of things written in it since then. I can't wait to see what else will be written over the years. & THE EVERY DAY I am counting down the weeks until Christmas and when *Cassandra comes home for good. I'm so proud of her for carving a life for herself up north away from her family and being courageous even though it would have been easy to throw in the towel at times. Recently I had a yen to start creating with clay. Back in high school the head of the art department said passionately. &quo

This past year has been a year of personal and spiritual growth for me. In my own reflective journal a couple of months ago, I asked myself this question in third person. "What makes Sarah happy? What is Sarah meant to do with her life?" And after that I answered my own question underneath. I also felt that from that moment on, I needed to take a mental note of what made me smile, inside and out. 1) Family Over the long weekend I went to a family BBQ. One thing I love about parties is the entire presentation of food and drink. I scooped some avocado mash into a glass cup just to add a bit of razzle-dazzle and I asked *Cassandra. "What do you think?" She gives me a "Are you really asking me this" look before saying. "I think its mashed avocado in a cup." Yeah, I live for moments like this... 2) Friends There have been so many delicious and cherished memories this year with friends. Old friends and new friends. Home made dinners with can

I believe that there is a fire in all of us. A fire that burns brightly when we fuel it with good things. Wisdom, joy and peace. Without those things, we find it hard to stand strong when faced with our day-to-day struggles and the challenges we may face. Last year my inner fire was flickering down to a burning ember. I was stressed over things that did not matter, I was afraid of failure, I sought approval from people who praised me one minute and then devalued me the next, in private and in company. This year I took a giant step back and left those things behind. I ponder over things that will be productive, I embrace failure and beyond general courtesy, I stopped thinking about the feelings of those who did not value mine. It has been a very liberating experience, one that has helped me to rebuild myself, love myself and trust myself fully. Around this time last year, I went over to visit Jess. I don't remember now what we were talking about, but it had something to

The very moment I finished writing "Spiritual Odyssey" in the title tab a gust of wind blew leaves up in my face! I think this is a sign from the cosmos to proceed... When I was growing up, Mum and Dad took *Victoria, *Cassandra and myself on a spiritual odyssey. Riding the Doctor John DeMartini wave and being half-intrigued, half-bored shitless at L.E, through the calming om's of Buddism and learning about crystal and reiki healing from the New Age movement. I was really crappy at meditation because my mind is a constant revolving door of angsty teenage thoughts. I was happy being a hormonal whirl-wind - why did my parents have to spoil it with their intellectual and in-depth conversations? What I find absolutely hilarious now is that I am re-learning some things from the Spiritual Odyssey pertaining to mindfulness, tuning into my intuition and trusting my instincts. Sitting in meditation is no longer a rattling cage because now that I pay my own way in the wo

When I was growing up "Get lost!" had only one meaning, mostly used by the mean kids.  Now that I am twenty-nine and seven months away from turning thirty; I have discovered another meaning for those two words that once would have had me in tears.  I often write about my mini-hikes around the rain-forest near my home and my love for roaming the less trodden paths.  Today I gave into a yen to get lost in a prosperous neighbourhood a ten minute walk from my home - I gawked shamelessly at marble foot-paths leading to stately colonial and tudor mansions with chandeliers twinkling prettily in big front windows, art deco tree-houses that you can bet have feng shui interior, black and gold gilded lanterns atop brick fences with black lattice-work gates guarding whatever treasures lie within. House after house boasts manicured gardens and three of them have tennis courts.  I wonder if there is a friendly contest during Christmas time to see who has the best Christmas lights?

The first friends I ever had are my sisters, they are my biggest champions, my most enthusiastic fans when it comes to my writing and my life, they are my trusted advisors and they tell me the truth - even if its not pretty. But even when the truth hurts, their love and support for me makes me feel very blessed and I know that whatever happens, they will be by my side. The love of a kind sister is one of the greatest treasures I hold in my life and luckily, I have two such sisters. When we were growing up it was love and war. One minute we were bonding over Home & Away, the next minute we were bickering over clothes and who would use the dial-up internet or land-line (thank God Wifi came and saved us all!) our Mum never allowed us to talk smack about each other because she wanted us to grow up and have strong bonds that is like steel encased in three layers of concrete. Over the years, my sisters have saved me many times. When I was a toddler, *Victoria saved me from drowni

A couple of weeks ago, I got a tad melancholy. I get that way sometimes because I overthink things. In this case I was thinking about the things I have wanted to do but haven't done. When I was 17 I had alot of naive optimism that life would go exactly the way I planned it. Get a steady job, marry the man of my dreams by 25, have my first kid at the age of 26 (because that's what my Mum did,) be a housewife and a successful author - oh yes, my life looked trim and tidy as a garden hedge.  Then real life happend.   It's been beautiful, ugly, calm and crazy. There are days when I want to be apart of it and days that I'd rather hide in the safety of what is familiar and comfortable.  But I'm glad that its been this way because it has made me stronger, wiser and more resilient than the 17 year old me was. If 29 years of being alive has taught me anything, its that life is happening while you're living it. I married a very wise man, because when I t

    After a lovely morning outing with my friend Aileen to see Mama Mia: Here We Go Again, I felt this need to get back out into nature. I went in search of something. Something that connected me to my spirit. I was thinking of going a little further out but my gut was telling me to stay a little closer to home, to take a different route than my usual one. It was a lovely surprise when I arrived at my destination to find what I was looking for. Tucked away on the corner of a quiet suburb was a clearing with an empty, solitary bench with a small pocket of trees nestled behind it. Walking through those trees made me think of Mary, the mother of Jesus and how it may have been somewhere like this that an Archangel appeared to her and told her that her life would soon change in the most unexpected, miraculous way. Though Mary had her doubts about her suitability for this God-given task due to her youth and status of a recently engaged woman, she agreed to what woul

Every now and then, I lie awake through the night and don't get to sleep until the early hours of the morning. Having had experience as a midnight worrier, I would would like to share what I have learnt from my own experience in hope that it may help people get a better good night's sleep. Here are a few things that I have found that contribute to sleepless nights.  1) Stress/Anxiety  You may slip under your comfy duvet and may still be thinking about something that happened at work, you may be worried about the health of a loved one, words you may have had with someone or if you just sat there and listened while someone steam-rolled over you and you're obsessing over five different greetings you're going to say next time you see them.  (Only two out of five are polite.) What Worked For Me: I have found that lying awake and obsessing over things does not change the outcome of what is meant to happen. I find that writing about my day in a journal before bed h

Burdens can be heavy. They can take their toll on your bank balance, your thoughts and energy. They can take form as knowledge and secrets or a dark tunnel where you do not know what lies ahead, but its dark and you cannot go back to where you were. All you know is that where ever you are going has to be better than what you have left behind. And if it's not, theres hope because you can see possibilites. I had a revelation about burdens a few weeks ago. At the beginning of that day I felt awful, there was a yucky and sludgy feeling in my gut. I felt burdened with my own feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. There was this audio transcribing job that I really wanted and I was knocked back. Mix that with unpaid bills and its been a rough couple of months financially. I have only had one interview and my applications kept getting politely declined or put on a slush pile to be reconsidered - even the jobs that required common-sense, courtesy, a phone and a  internet connection neede

Fears are like pebbles. You can carry one or two in your hands and feel comfortable with carrying them. Over time when faced with situations you can feel them press against your hands. You remember a fear you have carried since childhood that you have never grown out of, or you are remembering a situation where you felt frightened and incompetent to deal with. Last year I realised I was carrying a lot of pebbles that weighed me down. Fear of darkness. Fear of failure. Fear of standing on my own. Fear of public speaking. Last year I was thrown to my fears, like Daniel to the lions. I had two choices. I could cower and let the fears consume me. Or I could tame them. I did cower a little before my fears, I tried to hide from them and outrun them. If my fears were lions, I would have thrown them the chunkiest hunks of meat everyday so they would leave me alone! Thankfully, I made a friend called Morgan at a Hens Picnic last year and aside from introducing me to Herbalife, she a

I watched the Disney movies, I read and hoard romance novels (I still do). But nothing could have prepared me for what true love is - until I met my husband Alan. That first night that I met Alan on a couch at a birthday party back in November 2011 - I heard a voice in my heart say that this man would be a big part in my life. I couldn't believe it then. I was dazzled by the fact that this gorgeous, down-to-earth guy had sat down a few centimetres down from me and struck up a conversation. I was really shy and unsure of myself back then, but being in Alan's presence I felt safe and happy. Fast forward seven years and we have been through a lot of things together. We have had fun and laughed, we've cried and mourned. We've moved through moments of uncertainty, frustration and petty annoyances and we apologise when one of us have unintentionally hurt the other. We grew in trust and faith, we've looked after each other in times of feast and famine, in health and s

Mount Tamborine has a very speical place in my heart and is full of memories growing up with *Victoria and *Cassandra. Today we visited Canungra, a small picturesque town in the Scenic Rim which is bordered by mountains and have trees scattered all over them like giant brocilli. The azure sky looks closer to earth and the sun is warmer.  Today was my Mum's birthday and we do a country escape for her birthday almost every year, she grew up in Kin-Kin on a farm in the late 60's and between ages 10-12 moved with her family to the booming town of Brisbane. Time after time, she misses the fresh air of the mountains so we head out Mount Tamborine way. This year *Victoria, Alan and myself squished into the back of Dad's sleek black ride.  It was a cosy trip there and back! Once we arrived in Canungra I climbed out of the car, stretched and inhaled the fresh mountain air on a sigh before turning to Alan and said the same thing I always say when we venture here.  "Plea

2017 was a helluva great year, it heralded the count-down for my walk down the aisle and saying yes to the man I love for as long as I live. It was the year when I realised what really mattered and who really mattered. This was such a difficult lesson for me to learn because I didn't know those things. But as that year went by, day after day and month after month - I learnt about cherishing the simple things because that was all I could really afford.  I watered the garden, I did art projects and I learnt to surround myself with people who can truly appreciate me as I am. Our friendships are so important, they are supposed to make us feel safe and happy and to help us gain courage to take on the challenges that life holds.  When we are surrounded by friends who make us stronger, braver and happier then our lives are enriched despite what we are going through.  I find that focusing my time, energy and love on people who give it back is a must. I have learnt that if you le

Fire is like any kind of relationship; whether it be family, a friend or a spouse. Relationships can burn bright for a time but without mutual respect, attention and love that fire is reduced to a glowing ember. Over the past two and a half weeks, I have learnt three ways that a fire can die. 1) When a fire is not tended as it starts to smoke, the chances of it being fanned back to life in the last moments are almost nil. A fire that is not tended begins to smoke, a distress signal that tells us that the fire needs fanning and more kindling to keep it alive. 2) When we do not give fire room to breathe and smother it with too much kindling, it begins to smoke. Because we think that is what it needs and overwhelm it with our good intentions, the top the fire is burning out quickly but underneath the fire is trying to burn its way through the kindling. Which means that we need to gently rearrange the kindling to the side so the fire has room to breathe. 3) When we light a fire in