The Fireside Wife: Overcoming Fear
Fears are like pebbles. You can carry one or two in your hands and feel comfortable with carrying them. Over time when faced with situations you can feel them press against your hands.
You remember a fear you have carried since childhood that you have never grown out of, or you are remembering a situation where you felt frightened and incompetent to deal with.
Last year I realised I was carrying a lot of pebbles that weighed me down.
Fear of darkness.
Fear of failure.
Fear of standing on my own.
Fear of public speaking.
Last year I was thrown to my fears, like Daniel to the lions. I had two choices. I could cower and let the fears consume me. Or I could tame them. I did cower a little before my fears, I tried to hide from them and outrun them. If my fears were lions, I would have thrown them the chunkiest hunks of meat everyday so they would leave me alone!
Thankfully, I made a friend called Morgan at a Hens Picnic last year and aside from introducing me to Herbalife, she also introduced me to a weekly program that helps people change their mind-sets to change their lives. Tuesday nights became my favourite night of the week because I learnt to become bigger than my fears. I also started to enjoy my work, organising my wedding and life in general. And slowly, little by little, I faced each fear and overcame it.
First I acknowledged those fears for what they were. Remnants of old beliefs and bad memories.
I had to take back my power from them by divert my mind from what it had learnt to fear.
Darkness.
My fear of the dark came to the forefront last year shortly after I had moved. I would be the first one who came home at night. One night I came home in complete darkness with only my phone as a light source, I couldn't find the torch app so I kept making sure to press the On button of my phone so I would have a little light to guide me. The metal of the latch on the front gate was cold and uncooperative as I tried to open it. I was frantically looking into the shadows to make sure nothing was there. I could feel and hear the sound of my heart-beat. With hands shaking, I called Jess and asked her to just talk to distract me. And that was how I dealt with my fear of darkness for a few months, I'd call my sisters or Jess while I walked five minutes from the bus-stop through my front door and I turned on the lights. As I became more confident, I would switch to playing music through my phone on loud-speaker so I could still enjoy the music but be aware of my surroundings.
Nowadays I can walk by myself in the dark and stare in awe up at the stars.
I am still aware of my surroundings but I am no longer afraid.
Fear of Failure.
Growing up and living with a intellectual disability makes me even more annoyed with myself when I fail. It took me a long time to learn that it wasn't just me with a fear of failure. It's everyone I know.
Even though I still hate it when I fail, I have come to understand that it's something that everybody does. And the beauty of failure is that one becomes wiser, stronger, more resilient and less likely to fail in that area again.
Fear of Standing Alone.
"Stand, even if you stand alone." I remember this was a quote that I wrote on my Home Economics apron in black permanent marker back in year eleven. I liked how it was being truthful to one's own understanding of information and facts. I liked how this quote challenged status quo and beliefs - it's not about rebellion but about speaking up about what an individual believes is right. It may be rightfully challenged if it goes against what is good. I was very vocal back in high school, I couldn't have given a toss whether people liked what I had to say or not and that was something that I had to work on getting back. My own individual voice and point of view. I challenged myself last year to stick up for what I believed was the truth. People didn't like it and did challenge what I had to say, which is their own right. But it didn't bother me that they didn't like what I had to say.
Each to their own.
Fear of Public Speaking.
How can someone who craved being onstage in high school drama class be afraid of public speaking? For me it was always easy to shed my skin and put on an alter ego rather step onto the stage and be like. "Hey, I'm Sarah..." Whenever I had big birthday parties for my 18th and 21st I just said what I had to say and got the hell out of the spotlight. But last year for my engagement party and wedding, I had to step up a little more. My engagement speech went better than my wedding speech, during my wedding speech I forgot to thank the pastor and a few other key-people who had been involved in my big day. But I was able to bounce back and laugh it off and in future, I'll be able to deliver better speeches.
The Beauty and Healing Power of Mother Earth.
These are a few things that I did to overcome my fears. I also ate better and went out for bush-walks. Walking in nature can nurture and help us learn to understand ourselves and others, it's amazing how something as simple as watching blue butterflies dance in the air can bring about feelings of calmness and joy. You may have so many paths that you are walking in your mind, but being surrounded by trees and sky can simplify what looks complicated and bring you to a place where you are only walking on the path you choose. I found that even doing simple yard work like raking leaves, burning kindling and watering the garden can be enriching and cleansing to the mind and soul.
The Company I Keep
Another thing I did to help conquer my fears was to surround myself with a supportive network.
These people were the ones who I knew would laugh with me, encourage me and cheer for me like I do for them. Keeping good company helped me tap into hidden talent, explore wilder terrain and live my life with purpose and courage even when things don't go to plan.
The Warrior Above
There is a reason why people say 'Oh, God!" or "Help me, God." "God give me strength!"
Christian or Atheist, I've heard them both call that name. Sometimes if the person is stressed it may sound more like a curse than a prayer. But whenever I feel scared or anxious, I talk to the Man Upstairs because if he can shut the mouths of the hungry lions that were hungry for Daniel, he can help me overcome my fears.
*Victoria said to me a few weeks ago. "In the past six months you have really come a long way since this time last year."
I agreed with that statement one-hundred percent.
I hope that you will do it, dear reader. I hope that you will set out to conquer whatever is holding you back from living bravely.
Now I'm going to leave you with this quote:
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious never live at all. From now on you'll be travelling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey." - Meg Cabot, the Princess Diaries.
- Sarah x
You remember a fear you have carried since childhood that you have never grown out of, or you are remembering a situation where you felt frightened and incompetent to deal with.
Last year I realised I was carrying a lot of pebbles that weighed me down.
Fear of darkness.
Fear of failure.
Fear of standing on my own.
Fear of public speaking.
Last year I was thrown to my fears, like Daniel to the lions. I had two choices. I could cower and let the fears consume me. Or I could tame them. I did cower a little before my fears, I tried to hide from them and outrun them. If my fears were lions, I would have thrown them the chunkiest hunks of meat everyday so they would leave me alone!
Thankfully, I made a friend called Morgan at a Hens Picnic last year and aside from introducing me to Herbalife, she also introduced me to a weekly program that helps people change their mind-sets to change their lives. Tuesday nights became my favourite night of the week because I learnt to become bigger than my fears. I also started to enjoy my work, organising my wedding and life in general. And slowly, little by little, I faced each fear and overcame it.
First I acknowledged those fears for what they were. Remnants of old beliefs and bad memories.
I had to take back my power from them by divert my mind from what it had learnt to fear.
Darkness.
My fear of the dark came to the forefront last year shortly after I had moved. I would be the first one who came home at night. One night I came home in complete darkness with only my phone as a light source, I couldn't find the torch app so I kept making sure to press the On button of my phone so I would have a little light to guide me. The metal of the latch on the front gate was cold and uncooperative as I tried to open it. I was frantically looking into the shadows to make sure nothing was there. I could feel and hear the sound of my heart-beat. With hands shaking, I called Jess and asked her to just talk to distract me. And that was how I dealt with my fear of darkness for a few months, I'd call my sisters or Jess while I walked five minutes from the bus-stop through my front door and I turned on the lights. As I became more confident, I would switch to playing music through my phone on loud-speaker so I could still enjoy the music but be aware of my surroundings.
Nowadays I can walk by myself in the dark and stare in awe up at the stars.
I am still aware of my surroundings but I am no longer afraid.
Fear of Failure.
Growing up and living with a intellectual disability makes me even more annoyed with myself when I fail. It took me a long time to learn that it wasn't just me with a fear of failure. It's everyone I know.
Even though I still hate it when I fail, I have come to understand that it's something that everybody does. And the beauty of failure is that one becomes wiser, stronger, more resilient and less likely to fail in that area again.
Fear of Standing Alone.
"Stand, even if you stand alone." I remember this was a quote that I wrote on my Home Economics apron in black permanent marker back in year eleven. I liked how it was being truthful to one's own understanding of information and facts. I liked how this quote challenged status quo and beliefs - it's not about rebellion but about speaking up about what an individual believes is right. It may be rightfully challenged if it goes against what is good. I was very vocal back in high school, I couldn't have given a toss whether people liked what I had to say or not and that was something that I had to work on getting back. My own individual voice and point of view. I challenged myself last year to stick up for what I believed was the truth. People didn't like it and did challenge what I had to say, which is their own right. But it didn't bother me that they didn't like what I had to say.
Each to their own.
Fear of Public Speaking.
How can someone who craved being onstage in high school drama class be afraid of public speaking? For me it was always easy to shed my skin and put on an alter ego rather step onto the stage and be like. "Hey, I'm Sarah..." Whenever I had big birthday parties for my 18th and 21st I just said what I had to say and got the hell out of the spotlight. But last year for my engagement party and wedding, I had to step up a little more. My engagement speech went better than my wedding speech, during my wedding speech I forgot to thank the pastor and a few other key-people who had been involved in my big day. But I was able to bounce back and laugh it off and in future, I'll be able to deliver better speeches.
The Beauty and Healing Power of Mother Earth.
These are a few things that I did to overcome my fears. I also ate better and went out for bush-walks. Walking in nature can nurture and help us learn to understand ourselves and others, it's amazing how something as simple as watching blue butterflies dance in the air can bring about feelings of calmness and joy. You may have so many paths that you are walking in your mind, but being surrounded by trees and sky can simplify what looks complicated and bring you to a place where you are only walking on the path you choose. I found that even doing simple yard work like raking leaves, burning kindling and watering the garden can be enriching and cleansing to the mind and soul.
The Company I Keep
Another thing I did to help conquer my fears was to surround myself with a supportive network.
These people were the ones who I knew would laugh with me, encourage me and cheer for me like I do for them. Keeping good company helped me tap into hidden talent, explore wilder terrain and live my life with purpose and courage even when things don't go to plan.
The Warrior Above
There is a reason why people say 'Oh, God!" or "Help me, God." "God give me strength!"
Christian or Atheist, I've heard them both call that name. Sometimes if the person is stressed it may sound more like a curse than a prayer. But whenever I feel scared or anxious, I talk to the Man Upstairs because if he can shut the mouths of the hungry lions that were hungry for Daniel, he can help me overcome my fears.
*Victoria said to me a few weeks ago. "In the past six months you have really come a long way since this time last year."
I agreed with that statement one-hundred percent.
I hope that you will do it, dear reader. I hope that you will set out to conquer whatever is holding you back from living bravely.
Now I'm going to leave you with this quote:
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious never live at all. From now on you'll be travelling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey." - Meg Cabot, the Princess Diaries.
- Sarah x
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