Life, Love and the Everyday

Christmas and New Year holidays is my favourite time of the year, completion and renewal. This New Years Eve, as well as welcoming a new year, we are heralding the beginning of a new decade. Before I pull the party popper to cheer for the end of the old and the beginning of the new, I want to pay tribute to the last ten years. 2010 - Leave the things that do not bring you joy. 2011 - Trust your intuition. 2012 - Celebrate the here and now. 2013 - Let the light in your heart illuminate the darkness in your mind. 2014 - Be strong for yourself and those you love. 2015 - Make the most of what you have and what you know. 2016 - Live, laugh, love and create with passion and dedication. 2017 - Travel as far as you can go. 2018 - Live life with those who love and value you. 2019 - Pieces fall into place. Pray, Ask and Receive. While I was out walking today on this rough, beaten track in my local park I saw patches of grass scattered over this rocky, dusty path and this is what c

2019 has been a year that life has fallen into place and I feel like I have found a part of me that I lost a long time ago. I have been many people during my 20's. Some of them I liked, some of them I didn't. It's kind of like being back in kindergarten and trying on different clothes but the outfit you wear the most is the one you love the best. It took me the best and worst of my 20's to find that girl, this wildflower that was as beautiful as she was headstrong. I missed her while she was gone. The one who dressed in vibrant clothes, the one who was not afraid to be herself no matter what other people thought of her. And when I tried to smother that flame that was in her so I could fit in, she stomped off and told me to call her when I was ready to reclaim my true self. Two years ago, I called her back and little by little; we have come full circle. Since then my life has changed in such a way that it has blown me away. I was afraid of so many things but now tha

It is an act of great courage to be in a place we never thought we would be and to be okay with it. There is a time of sadness and grieving for what could have been, should have been, would have been if, to our thinking - things had been different. The 'what ifs' are the things we leave behind when we move on. We leave words unspoken, feelings often kept inside that feel impossible to speak, there are a lot of threads left severed or tangled so tight that we would not know how to unwind them. The threads that bind us to places, people and the wishes and hopes we had. Those are the things we will miss the most. Other times, we feel it in our hearts when it is time to go. When we have done everything we can and cannot bring ourselves to go any further. We leave in our wake the disappointment, the anger, the hurt that was eating away at our souls in search of something that will bring us back to a place of joy and contentment. Where we can rediscover our sense of self, where

In my last post I promised to write about my next trip to Melbourne. However I felt the words for another blog stir in my heart and it is about the things we have broken our hearts over. The things we can't fix. The choices we have made, the decisions we could not stop another person from making without poaching on their own free will. The things that hurt us deeply and the broken pieces of that experience and disappointment of hope gone feel like broken glass in our hands. What can we create with these broken pieces? Fragments of cherished memories, scattered dreams and hopes? Well, my loves. With all the broken pieces you can create a new masterpiece for your life. It will not look the same as what you envisioned but I promise that what you will create with those broken pieces that have brought you both joy and pain something beyond what you ever dreamed. God knew we would need an example of broken things becoming beautiful and whole again and that is why he created the idea

Life has been a whirlwind these past few months. A revolving door of birthdays, friendly catch-up and shameless Netflix and Stan bingeing. I have not been to martial arts training because my work day finishes later and I am yet to decide what fitness hobby to take up next. But I am really happy with my job,it has its moments but it is really rewarding too. It keeps me busy and every now and then I indulge in a little retail therapy. Every fortnight I buy another Nora Roberts book to read. Over the Christmas holidays last year when I bought a book the clerk informed me that a Nora Roberts book is bought every minute around the world! (Amazing, right?!) I just bought new Harry Potter books and am devouring them. I can't wait to give my kids their own Harry Potter books and relive the magic through their eyes. After travelling with Alan and his parents two years ago, I am happy to do a little more global-gallivanting before that happy chapter begins. I dream of swishing down

Compared to the English language, Japanese is more of a mouthful. Or maybe its just my thought as a beginner. About ten years ago I had wanted to learn Japanese and bought learn-in-the-car CDs. Then I got discouraged and stopped after awhile. Being more resilent now in terms of allowing myself more time to learn, I have picked it up again. I wish I had taken more of a keen interest in primary and high school, but I am putting my negligence of that study down to the fact that I was not interested like I am now. The other night while Alan was in the virtual fantasy of being a A-grade basket ball player, I was on the couch opposite him mumbling introductory phases in Japanese. 'Konnichiwa. Watashi no Sarah desu. Hajimashite. Ane na hitori onesan ga hitori imoto.' Konnichiwa. My name is Sarah. Nice to meet you. I have one older sister and one younger sister.' I stumble a little bit but I am getting there. I do not know when Alan and I will be going to Tokyo, whether it

It has been almost two years and I am still hooked on Mischievous Kiss: Love In Tokyo, a Japanese drama on Netflix. Based on a 90's manga called Itazura na Kiss by Kaoru Tada. Kaoru Tada rose to fame due to the popularity of Itazura na Kiss but before she could finish it she passed away after an accident when she was moving house. It is somewhat bittersweet that although we can speculate on the ending, we will not know the end game that Kaoru Tada had in mind. But her main story line has been loved and enjoyed by many. Mischievous Kiss follows the story of Kotoko Aihara, a high school senior who takes the plunge to tell her high school crush, Naoki Irie that she likes him and gets rejected. And with a couple of twists and turns, they end up living under the same roof with Kotoko's Dad and Naoki's family. I have to say that I am not a big fan of the character of Naoki Irie - he is rather mean. A real life version of him would be toxic to be around. But Yuki Furukawa...

When you have a birthday mile-stone, it gets you thinking more than you normally do. You think about the things you have been too scared to do, you think about the over-seas travel you have not done, you think about whether you want to relocate, travel or stay where you are and put down roots. Of course, timing is everything. And whether you have the moula and moxy to do it. Then you think about the dreams you have accomplished. When I was twenty I had a loooooong list of dreams I had for my life. There is one dream on that list that I still have not accomplished - to be a writer. In my heart I know this is possible - because impossible things happen every day. Then there is a reasonable voice in my head saying that there is every chance it can happen and every chance that it won't. Still, I wanted this to happen so badly since I realised the joy writing brought to me. At times I got depressed and it was painful for me to walk into a book shop and be happy for the authors

So far I have participated in six martial arts classes. I have noticed that things are becoming more familiar, after being leg-swept I am faster at gaining my footing and some manuovres are becoming more natural and fluid. For people who are just starting out like myself and feel uncertain, something I learnt last lesson is the value of a good battle cry. For me I found that it helped me remember what I needed to do as well as boosting my confidence. Think Lagertha from Vikings when she fights, she's strong, pissed off and indomitable, a warrior queen who will fight for her people, her family and friends. I like to think I looked a bit like her. A battle cry also helps me remember what manoevers need to be done, sometimes with so much to learn I forget what I was about to do because fear of doing the wrong move clouds my mind and it's yelling at me: "You can't do this!" "Why don't you go and have a break? A permanent break." "That would

For the past two months I have been somewhat nostalgic for the 90's - 90's fashion and 90's music. It seems like the rest of the world is missing the 90's because scrunchies are making a come-back! There is also a shop at Garden City near the skate-board shop that stocks pre-loved 90's clothes. I absolutely love that place - but be prepared to pay $40 for a novelty tee! What did I love about the 90's? I loved Britney Spears in Oops I Did It Again - I wanted that red cat-suit! My favourite song of the 90's was Pure Shores by All Saints. My favourite television show was Dawson Creek - partly because I had a huge crush on Pacey (Joshua Jackson) PS: I still do! But the other half of the attraction lay in the fact that I had to sneak into the living room at 8:30pm to watch it because Mum didn't want me watching it at such a young age but she allowed us to have the CD. I used to sing "Life's a bitch and then you diiiiie." as loudly as I cou

This weekend just gone, I was watching Anthony Robbins documentary - I Am Not Your Guru. I was absolutely bowled over by the man himself - his gorgeous teeth, his booming voice and larger than life presence. On my little nest on the couch I watched as he helped people get to the root of their unhappiness and pain, I saw people who had dark shadows on their faces when they approached him and when they left they were crying happy tears and the clouds on their faces had lifted and you could see something that transformed inside of them. It was a truly beautiful sight to witness and I was moved tremendously at the courage of these people who stood up in front of an entire room of 25 hundred people and tell their stories, where they had come from and why they were. I had two epiphanies during and after watching I Am Not Your Guru. Tony told the audience if you are going to blame someone for the bad things, you have to praise them for the good. It can be as something simple as "Tha

The beginning of 2019 has been full of wonderful moments and new beginnings for my family. Work is going strong and I have been spending time with beautiful friends and making new ones. It has been a rather busy start to the year and I am slowing down so I can take a breather and take care of things around the house as well as spending more time being creative. In order to keep my body strong and fit I have taken up martial arts again, it is challenging but a lot of fun. There are things that are slowly coming back to me but other aspects of picking up a close contact sport is taking some time to get used to, espeically the ground holds. Carrying a little more love on my hips and tummy does make getting out of ground holds a little trickier. If someone comes to choke me on the ground, I have to swivel my hips to the side before hooking my leg around their neck for the take-down. Believe it or not, this move is the least of my worries. Last lesson my sense of modesty was saved from ha

"When love hurts..." these three words came to me one morning as I was deciding which yummy treat buy at my local bakery. I had just had an epiphany about the courage it takes to love other people, especially when they have hurt us. Not just in the romantic sense but with family and friendships as well. We're all human and although we are powerful beings in our own right when it comes to endurance and strength, anything can happen at anytime which is why while we are here, we need to leave a legacy of love that can still be felt even after we are gone. And to those we leave behind, they will feel that love so much that it will make their heart hurt in those moments when they miss us. That is the price we pay when we love people, whether they are gone from this world or gone from our lives. All of these things can make us feel some really intense emotions. Hurt, anger, heart-broken, numb, sadness and powerless. This is when love hurts. There may be a period of time whe

My husband knew what he was getting into when he married me. Six years of dating and cohabitation before marriage would have clued him into the fact that his beloved wife is a little eccentric. So when I came back from my afternoon walk yesterday with the pockets of my shorts and cardigan weighed down with small rocks and carrying two rocks in my arms that weighed as much as a toddler, he didn't so much as bat an eye-lid. He watched me assemble these rocks in an Aztec blue and silver patterned bowl and complimented the arrangement. I feel that rocks are under-rated, maybe because they just blend in with the landscape. This past year or so I have been walking down this rocky track at my local park, not knowing why the thought or the sight of it made me feel grounded. During my teenage years, being 'grounded' was detrimental to my social life. Now I love that word because I have a new meaning for it. Even though I have come a long way in the past two years in terms of lis

Moving forward can take many forms. You can be moving forward in a new relationship, walking away from one in order to move forward, or moving forward in a new city or career, or maybe you are just moving forward with a renewed mind-set that will spring-board you into a new way of living or a new life. This can be exciting, overwhelming and just a tad insane - it's like walking outside on a windy day first thing without your morning coffee. Sometimes life happens all at once and it can be hard to catch your breath, you might be panicking a little because it is something so new and different. Moving forward can be bittersweet because while a new adventure awaits, you have to make a conscious decision to leave where you are in terms of physical or emotional state. You may also be trying to move forward in the present in terms of excelling in different areas of your life and searching for meaningful ways to be happy and fulfilled. Almost two years ago, I was in what seemed like a

When I first heard the lyrics to the song "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed, I felt the love and joy of those words pour into my heart. With arms wide open Under the sunlight  Welcome to this place I'll show you everything With arms wide open Now everything has changed I'll show you love I'll show you everything  To this day, it remains one of those songs that can stir something in my blood no matter how many times I hear it. It is a song about a man who is excited, anticipating and scared about becoming a father. I feel that is sometimes how we feel about life - going through new seasons, over rough terrain and climbing to new heights that we have never been, yet alone thought or dreamed of. When events and circumstances bring us down, it can be hard to stand still and open our arms to accept what is coming next. We worry about things we cannot change, we worry that we will disappoint the people we love through our choices or things that are beyond our

"In dreams, we enter a world that is entirely our own." - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Askaban. Your magic is working 24/7, even when you are sleeping because magic can happen everywhere, especially in our dreams. The unlikely and unthinkable becomes possible, we can see people we don't speak to anymore and we can have a treasured moment with a loved one who is in heaven. We can escape to the past or what we hope to be our future. Our dreams are like movies that we are drawn into, full of adventure, fun, truth and warnings which challenge us in turn to be aware, mindful and courageous.  Our dreams can show us things we cannot see when we are awake. Last year I fell asleep, I dreamt that I was weightless and flew out of my bedroom window before a quick descent. I woke up just before I hit the ground. (Sadly, I had no broom - so it wasn't a Harry Potter dream!) But I woke up feeling light, liberated and excited. My phone vibrated and it wa

"I have an awesome/crazy idea that might work." I used to say - a lot.  Some of those ideas were a little crazy - but some of them worked out pretty well. Behind every crazy idea, there is a flourish of creativity and genius. Now, let me be clear - there is good crazy and bad crazy. It's just good crazy fun here, folks. With a sprinkle of magic! Now most people would think that building a theme park only a handful of years after the Great Depression ended was not just a crazy idea - but insane! Construction for Disneyland began in 1954 and was opened one year and one day later on July 17th. It was an incredible and ambitious project that would have been an intimidating undertaking, costing a whopping 17 million.  But there was something very special about the man behind it, Walt Disney knew that people needed somewhere fun to bond with family and friends. That sometimes adults wanted to play and experience joy and wonder like children. He had a crazy idea with an c