Why Should I Forgive?
It is a truth universally acknowledged that people are going to piss you off.
From rude strangers, co-workers who rub you the wrong way, family who interfere and so- friends and people that you go to any lengths to avoid, no matter how inconvenient.
We have all felt the bitterness and anger when people treat us badly and there is that ingrained primitive urge to hurt them as badly as they have hurt us, so they can see what they have done through our eyes. There is an old saying that "Revenge is a best dish served hot." but what nobody tells you is that you have to eat it! In the book of Esther when Haman had started a vendetta to wipe out the Jews, he wanted revenge on this palace scribe called Mordecai and he was hell-bent on destroying Mordecai and the Jews that before the decree to kill all the Jews had passed he built a gallows for Mordecai. When the King found out that this new law would kill his beloved bride and her people; the King ordered Haman to be strung up on the very gallows he ordered for Mordecai.
What does this story tell us?
Psalm 37:8 explains the moral of this story.
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath, do not fret it only leads to evil.
For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land."
What does Jesus say about forgiveness?
Jesus says that we need to forgive a man 77 times!
No one deserves that kind of forgiveness!
Today it is the good ol' three strikes and you're out deal!
Why should I forgive the 10-year old girl who told me she hated me everyday for no reason back in primary school? I didn't do anything, I was no threat to her popularity or friendship group. I was one of the kids who picked up a book every lunch-time.
Why should I forgive the ex-boyfriends who dumped me after taking advantage of my feelings for them?
Why should I forgive friends who cannot see where they were wrong in a disagreement and blame me for everything instead?
But the big question is.
Why should Jesus forgive me?
He shouldn't have to, I mean I make mistakes just like the next person.
There are times when I am not the perfect friend, the perfect sister, the perfect girlfriend or the perfect daughter - I have a lot of good qualities to make up for moments of imperfection but it is the act of forgiveness that will redeem me and make me a better person than I was before.
Psalms 32:1
"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit."
To top this all off, Jesus wants us to genuinely and full-heartedly forgive the people who hurt us because if we cannot forgive them he cannot forgive us.
It's an outrage, isn't it? But in our life-time we are gonna sin a lot more than 77 times so we need all the forgiveness we can get!
When we forgive our fellow men, it allows God to bless us too.
A perfect example of forgiveness and blessings is the story of Hagar, her story is in the book of Genesis beginning in chapter 16, after God tells Abram that he is going to have a son.
Genesis 15:1
After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision.
"Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward."
But Abram said. "O Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?" and Abram said. "You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir." Then the word of the Lord came to him.
"this man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir."
But Sarai, Abram's wife did not believe she would be able to conceive a child because she was very old - this is where Hagar's story begins.
Genesis 16:1
Now Sarai, Abram's wife had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maid-servant named Hagar; so she said to Abram.
"The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her."
Despite what God had told him would happen, Abram did what Sarai said.
Hagar became Abram's second wife and became pregnant.
Now lets consider Hagar's position. She is Sarai's servant and cannot do anything but what her mistress bids her to do which is sleep with her husband. Despite being blessed with good health and a solid relationship with God - why should Hagar want Abram for herself?
From my perspective, Hagar didn't.
Genesis 16:4
"He slept with Hagar and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress..."
Who could blame Hagar for feeling like this? She had no choice but to sleep with Abram and it was so that Sarai could have a child through her and Abram - in Sarai's desperate bid to have a child she did not consider how Hagar would feel about sleeping with Abram or giving up her own child for the sake of continuing Abram's line.
Imagine the dark looks Hagar would have given Sarai or the heated discussions that would have taken place between the two women.
Women are territorial enough about their men, but when it comes to mothers and their babies they are known to be lethal!
As Sarai's was Abram's first wife and still Hagar's mistress, she sought out Abram and told him.
"You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms and now she knows she's pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me."
Did Abram point out to Sarai that this had all been her idea? That she was responsible for her own suffering? Instead he said to Sarai. "Your servant is in your hands, do whatever you think best."
Poor Hagar, she had only done what her mistress had commanded her to do and her master had given her into the mercy of his bitter wife. Sarai mistreated Hagar and Hagar fled into the desert and found herself near a spring where an angel of the Lord appeared to her.
Genesis 16:8.
And the angel said. "Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?"
"I'm running away from my mistress, Sarai." she answered and the angel of the Lord replied.
"Go back to your mistress and submit to her. I will increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count. You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael for the Lord has heard of your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers."
In Chapter 17 God told Abram (now Abraham) that he would provide well for Ishmael.
Genesis 17:20.
"As for Ishmael, I have heard you. I will surely bless him, I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Issac, whom Sarah (known as Sarai) will bear to you by this time next year."
All of this for Ishmael came to pass but it was because of what his mother, Hagar did.
When people upset us we don't want anything to do with them anymore but Hagar did something extrodinary and brave because she feared her mistress, she went back to serve Sarai despite what she had felt.
Without God's forgiveness and grace, we cannot talk to people yet alone willingly serve them but that is what Hagar did.
So why should you forgive?
If Hagar can do it, so can you.
When we hold onto anger, resentment and bitterness it is like three balls of yarn that keep winding into a tight ball that gets bigger and BIGGER until that is all we focus on.
Hagar could have held onto that large ball of yarn and carried it around with her, she could have shown it to people every where she went and discredit Sarah and Abraham as her masters.
But she chose to let go of those feelings of anger and hurt and God blessed her and her son with a good future.
As somebody who takes things to heart and ponders over things over and over again, it took me awhile to learn this lesson.
I have simmered and boiled over things that people have said or done to me to the point that it keeps me up at night feeling too angry to sleep. Last night A. rolled over and asked me.
"Everything ok, babe?"
"Yeah fine, just angry. Go back to sleep." I told him.
As my head hit the pillow I thought of a friend who I felt had done wrong by me.
"Why should I forgive them? They don't see what they have done to me." I thought angrily.
"Forgive them, as I have forgiven you." a gentle voice told me and knowing that Jesus was speaking to me, I felt soothed and eventually went to sleep.
Today I feel differently than I did last night - because today when I was thinking about forgiveness I realised that I do not have control over what people do or say to me and it isn't my place to try and correct them. I know that my words and deeds are weighed by God and so are theirs.
Deep down, they know too.
So drop your yarn balls, people. They will get too big and heavy for you to carry around after awhile!
Have a great week guys and I hope that you will all be blessed beyond measure in the coming days!
- Sarah
From rude strangers, co-workers who rub you the wrong way, family who interfere and so- friends and people that you go to any lengths to avoid, no matter how inconvenient.
We have all felt the bitterness and anger when people treat us badly and there is that ingrained primitive urge to hurt them as badly as they have hurt us, so they can see what they have done through our eyes. There is an old saying that "Revenge is a best dish served hot." but what nobody tells you is that you have to eat it! In the book of Esther when Haman had started a vendetta to wipe out the Jews, he wanted revenge on this palace scribe called Mordecai and he was hell-bent on destroying Mordecai and the Jews that before the decree to kill all the Jews had passed he built a gallows for Mordecai. When the King found out that this new law would kill his beloved bride and her people; the King ordered Haman to be strung up on the very gallows he ordered for Mordecai.
What does this story tell us?
Psalm 37:8 explains the moral of this story.
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath, do not fret it only leads to evil.
For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land."
What does Jesus say about forgiveness?
Jesus says that we need to forgive a man 77 times!
No one deserves that kind of forgiveness!
Today it is the good ol' three strikes and you're out deal!
Why should I forgive the 10-year old girl who told me she hated me everyday for no reason back in primary school? I didn't do anything, I was no threat to her popularity or friendship group. I was one of the kids who picked up a book every lunch-time.
Why should I forgive the ex-boyfriends who dumped me after taking advantage of my feelings for them?
Why should I forgive friends who cannot see where they were wrong in a disagreement and blame me for everything instead?
But the big question is.
Why should Jesus forgive me?
He shouldn't have to, I mean I make mistakes just like the next person.
There are times when I am not the perfect friend, the perfect sister, the perfect girlfriend or the perfect daughter - I have a lot of good qualities to make up for moments of imperfection but it is the act of forgiveness that will redeem me and make me a better person than I was before.
Psalms 32:1
"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit."
To top this all off, Jesus wants us to genuinely and full-heartedly forgive the people who hurt us because if we cannot forgive them he cannot forgive us.
It's an outrage, isn't it? But in our life-time we are gonna sin a lot more than 77 times so we need all the forgiveness we can get!
When we forgive our fellow men, it allows God to bless us too.
A perfect example of forgiveness and blessings is the story of Hagar, her story is in the book of Genesis beginning in chapter 16, after God tells Abram that he is going to have a son.
Genesis 15:1
After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision.
"Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward."
But Abram said. "O Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?" and Abram said. "You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir." Then the word of the Lord came to him.
"this man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir."
But Sarai, Abram's wife did not believe she would be able to conceive a child because she was very old - this is where Hagar's story begins.
Genesis 16:1
Now Sarai, Abram's wife had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maid-servant named Hagar; so she said to Abram.
"The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her."
Despite what God had told him would happen, Abram did what Sarai said.
Hagar became Abram's second wife and became pregnant.
Now lets consider Hagar's position. She is Sarai's servant and cannot do anything but what her mistress bids her to do which is sleep with her husband. Despite being blessed with good health and a solid relationship with God - why should Hagar want Abram for herself?
From my perspective, Hagar didn't.
Genesis 16:4
"He slept with Hagar and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress..."
Who could blame Hagar for feeling like this? She had no choice but to sleep with Abram and it was so that Sarai could have a child through her and Abram - in Sarai's desperate bid to have a child she did not consider how Hagar would feel about sleeping with Abram or giving up her own child for the sake of continuing Abram's line.
Imagine the dark looks Hagar would have given Sarai or the heated discussions that would have taken place between the two women.
Women are territorial enough about their men, but when it comes to mothers and their babies they are known to be lethal!
As Sarai's was Abram's first wife and still Hagar's mistress, she sought out Abram and told him.
"You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms and now she knows she's pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me."
Did Abram point out to Sarai that this had all been her idea? That she was responsible for her own suffering? Instead he said to Sarai. "Your servant is in your hands, do whatever you think best."
Poor Hagar, she had only done what her mistress had commanded her to do and her master had given her into the mercy of his bitter wife. Sarai mistreated Hagar and Hagar fled into the desert and found herself near a spring where an angel of the Lord appeared to her.
Genesis 16:8.
And the angel said. "Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?"
"I'm running away from my mistress, Sarai." she answered and the angel of the Lord replied.
"Go back to your mistress and submit to her. I will increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count. You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael for the Lord has heard of your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers."
In Chapter 17 God told Abram (now Abraham) that he would provide well for Ishmael.
Genesis 17:20.
"As for Ishmael, I have heard you. I will surely bless him, I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Issac, whom Sarah (known as Sarai) will bear to you by this time next year."
All of this for Ishmael came to pass but it was because of what his mother, Hagar did.
When people upset us we don't want anything to do with them anymore but Hagar did something extrodinary and brave because she feared her mistress, she went back to serve Sarai despite what she had felt.
Without God's forgiveness and grace, we cannot talk to people yet alone willingly serve them but that is what Hagar did.
So why should you forgive?
If Hagar can do it, so can you.
When we hold onto anger, resentment and bitterness it is like three balls of yarn that keep winding into a tight ball that gets bigger and BIGGER until that is all we focus on.
Hagar could have held onto that large ball of yarn and carried it around with her, she could have shown it to people every where she went and discredit Sarah and Abraham as her masters.
But she chose to let go of those feelings of anger and hurt and God blessed her and her son with a good future.
As somebody who takes things to heart and ponders over things over and over again, it took me awhile to learn this lesson.
I have simmered and boiled over things that people have said or done to me to the point that it keeps me up at night feeling too angry to sleep. Last night A. rolled over and asked me.
"Everything ok, babe?"
"Yeah fine, just angry. Go back to sleep." I told him.
As my head hit the pillow I thought of a friend who I felt had done wrong by me.
"Why should I forgive them? They don't see what they have done to me." I thought angrily.
"Forgive them, as I have forgiven you." a gentle voice told me and knowing that Jesus was speaking to me, I felt soothed and eventually went to sleep.
Today I feel differently than I did last night - because today when I was thinking about forgiveness I realised that I do not have control over what people do or say to me and it isn't my place to try and correct them. I know that my words and deeds are weighed by God and so are theirs.
Deep down, they know too.
So drop your yarn balls, people. They will get too big and heavy for you to carry around after awhile!
Have a great week guys and I hope that you will all be blessed beyond measure in the coming days!
- Sarah
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