Dreams & Reality
Dreaming can happen anywhere, any time.
Whether it is 3am in the morning or on the bus going to school, tafe and work.
I never stopped dreaming.
It was more than once that a favourite teacher of mine would see me staring vacantly into space and cut into my day-dreams by saying. "Hmmmm, having a little dream are we? Let's get back to work."
But I have learned that dreaming isn't enough, you have to give this dream nourishment, love, time and patience. Most importantly, you have to give it the best of everything you can - this is commitment is what I pour into my writing.
My dream was to have it all when I was a teenager. I was going to publish my first book in Grade 12 and become an overnight success and be rich and buy a family estate in the farming district and just keep writing full-time and being a great Mum, my other dreams consisted of having a big family and being married to a man who would love and cherish me for the rest of his life.
None of that has happened yet, though I haven't stopped dreaming.
But what comes to mind is that you cannot really plan life with bullet-points, there is more to life than dreaming - it is in living for the day and taking the initiative to improve our lives.
I am kind of glad that I didn't get everything that I wanted - although I had a lot of deep thoughts I wasn't mature enough emotionally and mentally.
Even if I don't strike it rich and own a mansion in the country (who wouldn't, seriously?) I have learned that there are some dreams that are more important than others.
If I had to choose between living in luxury and my family - I'd choose my family, because each of them is worth more than all the riches I could possess. At the end of the day, money gets you what you want but its the people you love that give you what you need.
Here is my list of life-time goals.
1: Become an author.
2: Be successful in my work.
3: Be a wife.
4: Be a Mum (a really good one).
After I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in June last year, I was struggling with managing my emotions and feelings, I felt I had nothing to offer anyone and the medication I was taking made me feel sick and tired all the time and apart of that was due to being sick with the flu.
I felt this void of emptiness consume me, the things that I normally enjoyed no longer held appeal.
Food, reading, writing and working - my four main loves were put on hold.
At first I felt angry that this had happened to me and why - was it because I was oh-so- happy and life was going smoothly?
I started going back to my parents church to draw closer to God - even in my fragile state of mind I knew I needed Him. One day one of the Pastors at church were talking about Job.
Job was a man after God's own heart - he served God faithfully.
The story begins with Satan walking the earth and his eyes fell on Job who had it all - he had wealth and status, a wife with sons and daughters. The Bible is full of warnings and cautious about the mind of the mind of Satan. He comes to kill, steal and destroy.
Satan killed Job's sons and daughters, stole his livelihood and was intent of destroying Job's life through giving him leprosy.
Job's friends came to visit Job and wept and consoled Job who said.
"Bless the Lord, he giveth and taketh away."
I could imagine Satan walking the earth and seeing me as a target for his devious plans to destroy God's kingdom. Satan knows how to throw some pretty good punches, because he knows that the surest way to hurt God is through us, causing us to turn around and blame God for giving and taking things away and because of what Job declared there are many people, Christian and non-Christian people alike, blaming God for not doing something that could have prevented their pain and suffering.
But God had compassion on Job and healed him from his leprosy, he gave Job and his wife more children and his daughters inherited equal shares along with the sons and gave him back his livelihood.
As Christian I am often faced with this awkward question.
"If God loves us so much why does he let crappy things happen?"
My answer is that everything works together to fulfill God's plan for us. No matter how Satan cuts us down, God will build us up again.
I can say this because three months after being on Pristq I was able to throw them away with the Doctor's blessing although he was sceptical about it but told me if I felt I didn't need them that was okay. I strongly believed I didn't need it anymore, I was feeling so much better in my heart and mind but I assured the Doctor that if I felt differently I knew where to find him.
Fast forward five months later and I have my old strength and energy back along with my passion for life. In a way, I am glad that everything happened the way it did because it made me realise how lucky I was to have such supportive family and friends. Throughout that grey season my boyfriend A. was just amazing and understanding, he believed without a doubt that I would reclaim my health. Although things were very difficult for us financially over the next couple of months he encouraged me and showed me how much he loved me simply by being patient.
So I began being a house-spouse, I didn't mind cleaning, cooking and washing - while I got my bearings together and health back on track. A. and I joke that my cooking got so much better now that I was a domestic spouse!
Now that I am 100% better thanks to the compassion of God, I am looking for work but today I inquired about studying hospitality certificate three, in a couple of months I will be qualified and able to find work in my chosen field. A. and I have decided to find a house to rent when our six month lease is up.
Words cannot describe how much I love A. - he is my forever love.
It is hard to give up on dreams, but sometimes God gives us a reality that is better.
- Sarah
Whether it is 3am in the morning or on the bus going to school, tafe and work.
I never stopped dreaming.
It was more than once that a favourite teacher of mine would see me staring vacantly into space and cut into my day-dreams by saying. "Hmmmm, having a little dream are we? Let's get back to work."
But I have learned that dreaming isn't enough, you have to give this dream nourishment, love, time and patience. Most importantly, you have to give it the best of everything you can - this is commitment is what I pour into my writing.
My dream was to have it all when I was a teenager. I was going to publish my first book in Grade 12 and become an overnight success and be rich and buy a family estate in the farming district and just keep writing full-time and being a great Mum, my other dreams consisted of having a big family and being married to a man who would love and cherish me for the rest of his life.
None of that has happened yet, though I haven't stopped dreaming.
But what comes to mind is that you cannot really plan life with bullet-points, there is more to life than dreaming - it is in living for the day and taking the initiative to improve our lives.
I am kind of glad that I didn't get everything that I wanted - although I had a lot of deep thoughts I wasn't mature enough emotionally and mentally.
Even if I don't strike it rich and own a mansion in the country (who wouldn't, seriously?) I have learned that there are some dreams that are more important than others.
If I had to choose between living in luxury and my family - I'd choose my family, because each of them is worth more than all the riches I could possess. At the end of the day, money gets you what you want but its the people you love that give you what you need.
Here is my list of life-time goals.
1: Become an author.
2: Be successful in my work.
3: Be a wife.
4: Be a Mum (a really good one).
After I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in June last year, I was struggling with managing my emotions and feelings, I felt I had nothing to offer anyone and the medication I was taking made me feel sick and tired all the time and apart of that was due to being sick with the flu.
I felt this void of emptiness consume me, the things that I normally enjoyed no longer held appeal.
Food, reading, writing and working - my four main loves were put on hold.
At first I felt angry that this had happened to me and why - was it because I was oh-so- happy and life was going smoothly?
I started going back to my parents church to draw closer to God - even in my fragile state of mind I knew I needed Him. One day one of the Pastors at church were talking about Job.
Job was a man after God's own heart - he served God faithfully.
The story begins with Satan walking the earth and his eyes fell on Job who had it all - he had wealth and status, a wife with sons and daughters. The Bible is full of warnings and cautious about the mind of the mind of Satan. He comes to kill, steal and destroy.
Satan killed Job's sons and daughters, stole his livelihood and was intent of destroying Job's life through giving him leprosy.
Job's friends came to visit Job and wept and consoled Job who said.
"Bless the Lord, he giveth and taketh away."
I could imagine Satan walking the earth and seeing me as a target for his devious plans to destroy God's kingdom. Satan knows how to throw some pretty good punches, because he knows that the surest way to hurt God is through us, causing us to turn around and blame God for giving and taking things away and because of what Job declared there are many people, Christian and non-Christian people alike, blaming God for not doing something that could have prevented their pain and suffering.
But God had compassion on Job and healed him from his leprosy, he gave Job and his wife more children and his daughters inherited equal shares along with the sons and gave him back his livelihood.
As Christian I am often faced with this awkward question.
"If God loves us so much why does he let crappy things happen?"
My answer is that everything works together to fulfill God's plan for us. No matter how Satan cuts us down, God will build us up again.
I can say this because three months after being on Pristq I was able to throw them away with the Doctor's blessing although he was sceptical about it but told me if I felt I didn't need them that was okay. I strongly believed I didn't need it anymore, I was feeling so much better in my heart and mind but I assured the Doctor that if I felt differently I knew where to find him.
Fast forward five months later and I have my old strength and energy back along with my passion for life. In a way, I am glad that everything happened the way it did because it made me realise how lucky I was to have such supportive family and friends. Throughout that grey season my boyfriend A. was just amazing and understanding, he believed without a doubt that I would reclaim my health. Although things were very difficult for us financially over the next couple of months he encouraged me and showed me how much he loved me simply by being patient.
So I began being a house-spouse, I didn't mind cleaning, cooking and washing - while I got my bearings together and health back on track. A. and I joke that my cooking got so much better now that I was a domestic spouse!
Now that I am 100% better thanks to the compassion of God, I am looking for work but today I inquired about studying hospitality certificate three, in a couple of months I will be qualified and able to find work in my chosen field. A. and I have decided to find a house to rent when our six month lease is up.
Words cannot describe how much I love A. - he is my forever love.
It is hard to give up on dreams, but sometimes God gives us a reality that is better.
- Sarah
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