What A True Friend Is

Friendship is a subject that is really close to my heart. Last year was challenging for me, although the wedding was successful the preparation for it was grating on my emotional and mental health.
During this time I learnt that trying to sustain healthy relationships with toxic people was like fire-twirling while walking along a tight-rope. Do-able but a constant strain on time and energy better suited elsewhere.

I was afraid of making new friends. Self conscious and scared of making the same mistakes but also being a target of relational aggression that had taken its toll on my self-esteem and confidence.
 I was afraid of opening my heart and sharing my experiences with others with the exception of a select few, and it was those few people that taught me so much about what true friendship is.


1) A true friend is someone who tells you the truth 

Sometimes we don't want to hear about where we are going wrong but honesty given in a kind, respectful way doesn't make you feel like an injit. Friends might make a joke out of it and help you laugh at yourself but they won't make you feel inferior to them.

2) A true friend understands within reason

You can say 'no' and not feel like you are the worst person in the world.
'No' was such a hard word for me to learn. I learnt that saying "Yes" would ensure happiness and favour but it cost me my ability to see what was worth saying yes and no to.


3) A true friend will listen and see value in your opinion.

I did not know how opinionated I was until I was surrounded by people who valued what I had to say. With the right people you can say what is on your mind and even if they don't agree, it's not a contest to see who knows more but what value there is in what someone says.

4) A true friend respects you

 Real friends make you feel comfortable and happy with who you are, you don't have to have an ready explanation for everything, you don't have to constantly prove who you are because friends who are genuine already know what is in your heart and what you can do, in saying that they will tell you to strive for your goals and break glass ceilings.

5) A true friend always leaves you smiling  

A true friend is there on every page of your book. Not just for the pretty chapters but for the ugly ones as well. True friendship is similar to a marriage, it's a union of harmony and mindfulness; of unconditional love regardless of the season. In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.
Friendship is a priceless jewel. It's like air. Nothing can pay for it, not money, success or favours because friendship is embracing someone with your heart. Thinking about spending time with them makes you smile. As it should be.

6) A true friend applauds and encourages you 

Even when you don't have your shit together, a true friend will remind you what you do have.
They will point out silver linings, make you laugh, encourage you to empower yourself and applaud something ridiculous when you have something exciting to share.

 7) A true friend sees the beauty in you

We all have flaws.
There are places inside of us that are raw and vulnerable, wounds that have never fully healed.
We may worry about what people think when they look at us - what do they see?
A friend who loves you will always see the beauty in you - when you doubt yourself they will remind you why you shouldn't, whatever you are afraid of they will help you face it, whenever you feel alone they will show up for you.

8) A true friend is always kind to you, about you 

We all make mistakes, we all fuck up but that's not who we really are.
At the end of the day, we're all human. We all laugh, cry and have our battles to fight.
We won't always win but with a friend who really cares, you can have peace in any situation.
A friend who is true in heart will acknowledge your mistakes but will never seek to hurt you with them.

9) A true friend brings out your best, not your stress 

If you second-guess yourself and walk on egg-shells to make someone else happy in fear of offending them - that is not a genuine friendship. Physical symptoms of a stressful friendship is dread of seeing them, nervous knots in your stomach and a headache. The way that somebody treats you and the way you feel about them is indicator about whether or not the friendship is healthy for you to participate in long-term.

10) A true friend will make even the simplest moments magical 

Whether you are studying or partying, or having a night in with Netflix and board games - true friends will give the simplest past-times fun and meaning that you will always remember and treasure. You can be dressed to the nines or in your raggy sleepwear, having fun and enjoying each other's company. You don't need money to enjoy friendship, just an open heart and mind.

In conclusion, I would like to say thank you for reading What A True Friend Is and I will have more blogs about friendship soon.

-Sarah x