Lessons of Self-Friendship

I like myself a lot more these days, in fact - I love myself.                            

I love myself in a way that's like 'Wow, this is me. I like it.'
 I have more strength to push on and have confidence. It's amazing what happens when you chase people who chase you, who want to genuinely be in your life and YOU decide that you are worth more, YOU deserve more.
Six months ago I would have thought.
"I'm good but I'm not that good."
I did not value what I had to offer, I let people treat me how they wanted and that is on me.
However, in saying that - when people who say they love you; then make you feel like an outsider,
you realise that they are taking up sitting space in your life.

The people who you can trust to be there are the ones who make you smile just by calling, they make you laugh at how funny life can be and they are there for you when you've had a shit day.
Those are the people, I learnt, that I needed to make priority seating arrangements for.

 Through their words and actions they let you know these three things.

I love you. 
I respect you. 
You matter to me. 

When you don't feel loved, when you don't feel respected, when you don't feel like you matter to somebody - are you going to stick around and hope that a light will go off in their brain and out of the blue, they suddenly realise that they've had something good that they have pushed away?
No, of course you won't. Regardless of whether they have an epiphany or not - you'll go on your way, you'll meet people who make you want to shine brighter in all areas of your life, if you've had toxic friendships and you want genuine friendships that uplift you, then you know that to have a friend like that, you need to be a friend first.
To yourself.
Be the friend to yourself that you've always wanted for yourself and look for it in other people.
This is what I'm going to teach my own kids about friendships based from my own experiences:

1. Always be your best friend. Love and honour who you are, embrace your flaws and your gifts.
2. Friendships are like flowers. They are beautiful and delicate - treat them gently with respect and care, water them with time, love and joy and watch them grow. (Be careful though - there are some flowers that look innocent that are poisonous and other flowers that are beautiful but have thorns.)
3. Nobody is perfect, have compassion and grace for others if you want it for yourself. 
4. Always be kind because you never know what people are going through. Help if you can, but the best gift you can give is time.
5. Embrace people with love, if you can - let them go the same way. 
6. Whatever the outcome to a situation, forgive fast, move on quicker.  
7. Friends are the family we choose, choose wisely. 
8. Show people how to treat you. 
9. Do not rely on other people to give you happiness. You have to seek and give it to yourself.
10. Trust your gut about other people. How you feel when you are around them says more than their words will. 

These lessons are so simple - but learning them firsthand was very difficult. 

However, I am very grateful to the people who have taught me these lessons because I know I am a better person for them and now I know how to be a great friend, to myself and others. 

- Sarah x