Becoming Myself
LIFE
What I love about books is that they are available around the clock - your imagination can absorb words and take you on a journey, pages away from your life.
What would life be without J.K Rowling, Kathy Reichs and Jane Austen?
Pretty lousy, that's what.
Then there are books that make you feel brave, inspired - and I have been reading such a book this week. It's called Becoming Myself by Stasi Eldredge. I have read it a couple of times and loved it - and I have read it again this week - it's about loving yourself, quirks and all - embracing the beauty that is soul and surface. There were three topics Stasi mentioned in her book which really stood out to me. Body Image, Friendships and Mothers.
Last Tuesday I weighed in at 99.1. My whole adult life it seems, has been about losing weight.
It's my fault. I have eaten in quantity rather than moderation and skipped on the 30-45 minutes of exercise most days and that's on me. Literally.
On that score, I learnt something in Becoming Myself - it's not the hard-line of 'Harden up, Princess' - but something more akin to compassion and grace, for yourself and others.
Last week I was having one of those self-hate fests. I didn't like my arms so I would try not to wave with so much gusto. After reading Becoming Myself again, I thanked God for my arms - because they can lift 25 kilos in total and they embrace family, friends and the children I look after with warmth and love.
Yesterday when I was at my parents place with my sisters, I looked at my Mum's hands as she was cooking. She was stirring piklet mix in a glass bowl. Cradling the bowl in one hand and stirring with the wooden spoon with the other.
Those hands stroked me when I was in her tummy, brushed my hair when I was a little girl, as a young woman with a rebellious streak she would take my face in her hands and say 'I love you, my precious beauty.'
I haven't always appreciated my Mum and how her hands have shaped my life.
I have felt annoyed, smothered or embarrassed on countless occasions - and I let those occasions take over the beautiful moments Mum has given me all these years.
It wasn't until my parents moved to a different suburb half an hour away that I realised the extent of what they have done for me.
Just a piece of advice for you young ones still living at home.
If your parents are kind, loving people, treat them well and enjoy your time with them.
Sit down to a board game or watch a movie every once in a while.
If your parents want to know what time you'll be home after an evening out, tell them so they won't worry as much as they would if you just walked out after a row or no word at all.
You may be in your early twenties with street smarts and fashion flair, it may be frustrating or embarrassing to you - but for them it's knowing that you are safe.
You can make your own choices, have your own opinions and have your own life - but always respect where you came from.
And when your parents have a hard time letting go, tell them you still love and need them.
Because you will.
You will need them when it feels like the world is against you.
You will need their advice even if you don't want it.
You will need them for many things, even if it is just assurance and a hug.
Getting back to what I learnt about Friendships.
"Friendship" by itself sounds pretty general.
Anybody can be a friend if you have a sanguine personality and an eager-to-please attitude.
Sometimes its difficult to tell who is a true friend. Other times the behaviour of that friend speaks for itself. If someone who calls you a friend one minute and the next they are dredging up things you have told them in confidence to embarrass you in the guise of 'Just joking!" and being around them makes you feel hurt, diminished and you get sick just thinking about seeing them or you obsess over what you will say to them next time they overstep the mark - then it is not a healthy friendship anymore. You don't have to say 'You're not coming to my birthday party!' - I hear that phrase four days a week - at my age it's no longer effective - but you get the idea, you don't have to be mean.
Just let them be...away from yourself.
A couple of years ago, Pastor Patsy Cameneti gave a beautiful sermon called "Guard Your Heart"it is
based on Proverbs 4:23 'Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.'
The heart is a contradiction. It is a strong organ that pumps blood around your body but it is also vulnerable - from forces on the inside and outside of the body.
On the inside the heart circulates blood flow and beats, if for some reason the circulation is obstructed and the heart goes into overdrive, then things can get serious.
The heart is also resilient. It can endure heart break and loss. And when we panic it thumps loudly, reminding us that we need to breathe. When we are devastated our hearts squeeze and clench painfully - I think that is why people call it 'heart-broken'.
But when you know you are going to go somewhere and see people who see you completely, quirks and all - and encourage you to embrace your beauty - then your heart feels your joy.
So love your hearts, people. Eat right, exercise plenty and spend time with people who you know will cherish your heart - and cherish you.
LOVE
I am really glad that A. is so down to earth. Twice I have broken down this week.
On Monday night after a long day, I came home and called myself a failure and a horrible house keeper - cried - and hogged the tv for one episode of Gilmore Girls. Yesterday afternoon I came home and I saw the unwashed dishes in the sink, the piles of clothes on the lounge room and my bedroom floor that I hadn't had the energy to put away - I got frustrated, then anxious - then went for a twenty minute walk.
And what is really wonderful is that I have the freedom to express my feelings with A.
He doesn't make me feel bad for feeling sad, frustrated or 'meh'. He gives me a hug, lets me do what I need to feel good again. Sometimes it takes an hour, other times it takes a day or two - but I love A. so much for always saying that regardless of whether I feel it or know it, that I am awesome and reminding me why when I forget. That's the beauty of having somebody to share your life with, to help carry the burdens of life and love you even when you don't feel sparkly. That is true love.
And I am lucky to have found it with A.
& THE EVERY DAY
Time with my family is fleeting and precious these days - so we all make the most of every moment.
*Cassandra goes back up north today. It was easier to say goodbye yesterday, but that being said - saying goodbye is easier than the wait. But with the rest of the year running by, I know it won't be a long wait. Before we know it, Christmas will be here. I love Christmas more than any other holiday of the year (other than Easter) a chance to gorge on delicious food surrounded by loved ones.
And who doesn't love getting presents?
But before A. and enjoy the Christmas festivities - we have to complete the 8 Week Challenge which is basically a low carb diet. No bread, no chocolate, no pizza, no pasta, no potato, no fizzy drinks.
I have already gotten a start on everybody else. No chocolate, no pasta, no pizza, no fizzy drinks.
Easier said than done. I've slipped off the wagon this weekend but at least I have been exercising - I have been going on nice leisurely strolls all weekend. Yesterday I went on what felt like a forty minute walk. Last weekend I went for an hour and a half walk. I also broke my promise to my personal trainer that I would go to the gym three times last week. Unless I go today and tomorrow night - I can say I went twice and that's better than nothing.
It's my favourite kind of day outside.
Dark grey with a soft wind and you can smell the rain in the air - it smells delicious!
I love going out walking on these kind of days. I call them 'Sarah days' - 'Sarah days' involve walking, blogging, writing, watching movies and watching the rain fall.
Yep. 'Sarah days' are awesome! And because this 'Sarah day' is drawing to a close, I'd better get out and enjoy it while it lasts.
Have a good week! And remember! Guard and cherish your heart.
- Sarah x
What I love about books is that they are available around the clock - your imagination can absorb words and take you on a journey, pages away from your life.
What would life be without J.K Rowling, Kathy Reichs and Jane Austen?
Pretty lousy, that's what.
Then there are books that make you feel brave, inspired - and I have been reading such a book this week. It's called Becoming Myself by Stasi Eldredge. I have read it a couple of times and loved it - and I have read it again this week - it's about loving yourself, quirks and all - embracing the beauty that is soul and surface. There were three topics Stasi mentioned in her book which really stood out to me. Body Image, Friendships and Mothers.
Last Tuesday I weighed in at 99.1. My whole adult life it seems, has been about losing weight.
It's my fault. I have eaten in quantity rather than moderation and skipped on the 30-45 minutes of exercise most days and that's on me. Literally.
On that score, I learnt something in Becoming Myself - it's not the hard-line of 'Harden up, Princess' - but something more akin to compassion and grace, for yourself and others.
Last week I was having one of those self-hate fests. I didn't like my arms so I would try not to wave with so much gusto. After reading Becoming Myself again, I thanked God for my arms - because they can lift 25 kilos in total and they embrace family, friends and the children I look after with warmth and love.
Yesterday when I was at my parents place with my sisters, I looked at my Mum's hands as she was cooking. She was stirring piklet mix in a glass bowl. Cradling the bowl in one hand and stirring with the wooden spoon with the other.
Those hands stroked me when I was in her tummy, brushed my hair when I was a little girl, as a young woman with a rebellious streak she would take my face in her hands and say 'I love you, my precious beauty.'
I haven't always appreciated my Mum and how her hands have shaped my life.
I have felt annoyed, smothered or embarrassed on countless occasions - and I let those occasions take over the beautiful moments Mum has given me all these years.
It wasn't until my parents moved to a different suburb half an hour away that I realised the extent of what they have done for me.
Just a piece of advice for you young ones still living at home.
If your parents are kind, loving people, treat them well and enjoy your time with them.
Sit down to a board game or watch a movie every once in a while.
If your parents want to know what time you'll be home after an evening out, tell them so they won't worry as much as they would if you just walked out after a row or no word at all.
You may be in your early twenties with street smarts and fashion flair, it may be frustrating or embarrassing to you - but for them it's knowing that you are safe.
You can make your own choices, have your own opinions and have your own life - but always respect where you came from.
And when your parents have a hard time letting go, tell them you still love and need them.
Because you will.
You will need them when it feels like the world is against you.
You will need their advice even if you don't want it.
You will need them for many things, even if it is just assurance and a hug.
Getting back to what I learnt about Friendships.
"Friendship" by itself sounds pretty general.
Anybody can be a friend if you have a sanguine personality and an eager-to-please attitude.
Sometimes its difficult to tell who is a true friend. Other times the behaviour of that friend speaks for itself. If someone who calls you a friend one minute and the next they are dredging up things you have told them in confidence to embarrass you in the guise of 'Just joking!" and being around them makes you feel hurt, diminished and you get sick just thinking about seeing them or you obsess over what you will say to them next time they overstep the mark - then it is not a healthy friendship anymore. You don't have to say 'You're not coming to my birthday party!' - I hear that phrase four days a week - at my age it's no longer effective - but you get the idea, you don't have to be mean.
Just let them be...away from yourself.
A couple of years ago, Pastor Patsy Cameneti gave a beautiful sermon called "Guard Your Heart"it is
based on Proverbs 4:23 'Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.'
The heart is a contradiction. It is a strong organ that pumps blood around your body but it is also vulnerable - from forces on the inside and outside of the body.
On the inside the heart circulates blood flow and beats, if for some reason the circulation is obstructed and the heart goes into overdrive, then things can get serious.
The heart is also resilient. It can endure heart break and loss. And when we panic it thumps loudly, reminding us that we need to breathe. When we are devastated our hearts squeeze and clench painfully - I think that is why people call it 'heart-broken'.
But when you know you are going to go somewhere and see people who see you completely, quirks and all - and encourage you to embrace your beauty - then your heart feels your joy.
So love your hearts, people. Eat right, exercise plenty and spend time with people who you know will cherish your heart - and cherish you.
LOVE
I am really glad that A. is so down to earth. Twice I have broken down this week.
On Monday night after a long day, I came home and called myself a failure and a horrible house keeper - cried - and hogged the tv for one episode of Gilmore Girls. Yesterday afternoon I came home and I saw the unwashed dishes in the sink, the piles of clothes on the lounge room and my bedroom floor that I hadn't had the energy to put away - I got frustrated, then anxious - then went for a twenty minute walk.
And what is really wonderful is that I have the freedom to express my feelings with A.
He doesn't make me feel bad for feeling sad, frustrated or 'meh'. He gives me a hug, lets me do what I need to feel good again. Sometimes it takes an hour, other times it takes a day or two - but I love A. so much for always saying that regardless of whether I feel it or know it, that I am awesome and reminding me why when I forget. That's the beauty of having somebody to share your life with, to help carry the burdens of life and love you even when you don't feel sparkly. That is true love.
And I am lucky to have found it with A.
& THE EVERY DAY
Time with my family is fleeting and precious these days - so we all make the most of every moment.
*Cassandra goes back up north today. It was easier to say goodbye yesterday, but that being said - saying goodbye is easier than the wait. But with the rest of the year running by, I know it won't be a long wait. Before we know it, Christmas will be here. I love Christmas more than any other holiday of the year (other than Easter) a chance to gorge on delicious food surrounded by loved ones.
And who doesn't love getting presents?
But before A. and enjoy the Christmas festivities - we have to complete the 8 Week Challenge which is basically a low carb diet. No bread, no chocolate, no pizza, no pasta, no potato, no fizzy drinks.
I have already gotten a start on everybody else. No chocolate, no pasta, no pizza, no fizzy drinks.
Easier said than done. I've slipped off the wagon this weekend but at least I have been exercising - I have been going on nice leisurely strolls all weekend. Yesterday I went on what felt like a forty minute walk. Last weekend I went for an hour and a half walk. I also broke my promise to my personal trainer that I would go to the gym three times last week. Unless I go today and tomorrow night - I can say I went twice and that's better than nothing.
It's my favourite kind of day outside.
Dark grey with a soft wind and you can smell the rain in the air - it smells delicious!
I love going out walking on these kind of days. I call them 'Sarah days' - 'Sarah days' involve walking, blogging, writing, watching movies and watching the rain fall.
Yep. 'Sarah days' are awesome! And because this 'Sarah day' is drawing to a close, I'd better get out and enjoy it while it lasts.
Have a good week! And remember! Guard and cherish your heart.
- Sarah x
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