A Big Decision

Inspired by 'The Courage to Be Creative" by Doreen Virtue, I finally set out to do what I had been procrastinating for eight months. I made the decision to quit my Childcare Diploma course to begin my journey towards a career in writing.

I marked the occasion with a meal at a new Taiwanese restaurant near where I live, I ordered a beef brisket noodle soup with an amazing peach iced tea which was deliciously salivating.
While consuming this meal, I wrote an email to my new trainer from the course stating the reason why I was dropping out.
 There was no self-loathing or guilt, just the peace that comes with making the right decision.
 (Then again, I had wrestled with the doubt of this choice last year while writing The Truth 1&2)

For eight months I inwardly weighed the pro's against the cons, I told myself not to quit the course for all the practical reasons under the sun and also the personal.
 'I'm not a quitter.'
'There are people out there who want this more than I do and I should want this because I have dedicated so much time to this profession in the field.'
'I should do this to show myself that I can.'
'I should do this for the benefit of my future children.'

But as my study sabbatical grew longer, I couldn't bring myself to sit at my laptop and study something that held no interest for me.
 That's when it hit me.
I had been trying on and off for six years with nothing to show for it.
If I had really wanted my diploma I would have had it by now.
So I quit.
I am now free of the obligation I had imposed on myself to finish something that no longer appealed to me. It was a very expensive lesson but also a necessary one because it made me realise that if I was not willing to put my time, discipline, love and passion into something then chances were I would be better off finding something else to invest myself in.

I was talking to a new girl at work and we found we shared a love for Harry Potter, art and craft and a confusion over what we wanted to do with our lives. 
"There's so many possibilities! It's just a matter of 'What do I want to be when I grow up?" She chirped positively and I agreed wholeheartedly.
In the last six months I have been wondering about what possibilities my future has in store.
"What do I want to be now I'm grown up?"
Fashion design? Hospitality? Content writing? 

After writing that fateful email to my ex-trainer, I called up Jess and told her what I had done.
Then I yelled out my intention for the whole neighbourhood to hear.
"I'M GOING TO BE A WRITER!"
  I do not know how nor when opportunity is going to present itself.
 But I know that I will be ready when that time comes because I have started walking down that path.
I created a writer's portfolio with my popular blogs and an introduction letter about who I was and what I had to offer and sent it to various places in Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney.

In the meantime, I am getting into the mind-set of a writer by researching for knowledge and pleasure. I am feeding my voracious appetite for the written word with regular trips to the library.
This month my reading list is Joan of Arc by Helen Castor, Blogging For Dummies by Amy Lupold Bair and Susannah Gardner, The Coffee Oracle by Stacey Demarco and Tea Leaf Reading For Beginners by Caroline Dow and Feng Shui Your Life by Jayme Barrett.

In conclusion I just want to say thankyou for reading my blog and I hope that what I've written is relatable. It is an ugly awakening when you realise that a path you have been on for so long is not what you want and it's not easy admitting the truth out loud because you can't bear the thought of disappointing the people you love or the scary idea of beginning again.

For those of you out there who know that what you're doing and it isn't what you want but you are afraid to say what is really in your heart.
You don't have to make any decisions today, you don't have to have a five point plan and a back-up.
You don't have to do anything that would interfere with your life and responsibilities - all you have to do is acknowledge what your feelings are and honour them when opportunities arise.
I hope that you will have courage to honour what is in your heart.

- Sarah x