The Beauty In Me

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The first hardest thing I have ever told someone is. "Sarah, I love you." 
The second hardest thing I ever said to anyone was "Sarah, you're beautiful."
The third hardest thing was "Sarah, I'm proud of you." 
The fourth. "Sarah, you deserve more."
The fifth..."Sarah, I'm sorry..."

"I'm sorry for the times I said, 'I hate you' in the mirror, I'm sorry for the times I called you ugly, I'm sorry for the times I made you hang out with people who put you down and made you feel less than what you are. I'm sorry for not being brave enough to defend you and I'm sorry that it's only just now that I have learnt to see the beauty in me that is you." 

And that inner voice replied. "It's all right, I know that you loved me - you have kept me alive these past 29 years, even when you felt ugly you still went out and did life, when those people put you down you showed them what love and forgiveness looks like, you could have yelled at them and put them down too - but you didn't and I'm proud of you for that. You knew something wasn't right and you have protected me in your own way. You know that love is not sacrificing who you are for another person's idea of who you should be. You are beautiful, Sarah Elizabeth. I'm proud of you for coming into your own and defying the odds, breaking the limits that people have put on you over the years. Look at you! The doctors said you would never marry and live out of home, they also said you would never amount to much and boy, weren't they wrong! Someone once told you that you could never travel by yourself and you made the trip home alone from Fiji and flew to Singapore alone last year! I'm proud of you for your resilience, strength, patience and determination to break the glass ceilings life has given you."  

The moral of the story? Give your inner-voice a chance to speak. 
Grab a note-book and see what comes up for you. You will be surprised at what your inner-voice says. Even while I was writing what my inner-voice was telling me, I was shocked about how much I did love myself and I saw a beauty in me that I had only heard about from other people but now, I believe it myself.   

- Sarah x





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