All Things New
LIFE
Emotional and mental scar tissue takes longer to mend than a scrape.
But as a small child I learnt if I kept rubbing that scrape because it was itchy, then the scab where the skin was beginning to heal would rip off and open the wound again.
It's the same thing with the matters of the heart - if you think on the matter too much and itch the scratch, then its going to become infected and sore.
That's how I felt last week - I couldn't leave the scrape alone.
I got angry at God on Wednesday night. And I was mad at him for three days and all because of one scratch which hadn't quite healed.
To make light of the situation that night I said to A. "If I can't have babies, I'll have shoes and wine."
A. chuckled and said. "You're crazy, woman!"
"I saw a picture on Pinterest of a pair of ankle boots, aqua with tassels."
"Uhuh."
"Yeah! I have decided I am going to invest in alot of shoes!"
"Awesome."
It's what every guy wants to hear - that their girlfriend is off on a shoe shopping spree!
The next day at work, I was sitting in the sandpit and one of the little girls smiled at me widely before giving me a hug. It was one of those moments where I think "This is worth all the paperwork." and then I said to God. "If this is all I will ever have, it's enough."
But if I am honest, I was still mad at God.
I went out late-night shopping with one of my good friends, Riss, she's beautiful, loyal and my lucky charm whenever I go shopping with her, because whenever I find something I like - I always get a bargain!
The bargain of the night was $75.00 high wedge black sandals which currently hold a place of honour in my wardrobe. I don't know about you, but I love asian dramas - namely Hana Kimi and Boys Over Flowers.
In Boys Over Flowers, one of the characters says to the lead character. "Beautiful shoes take you beautiful places." Out of all the quirky, cheesy moments in that series, that is my favourite moment and right now, a piece of wisdom that I am all too willing to embrace.
When Sunday morning rolled around, I didn't want to go to church - I didn't want to stand in God's house because I was still angry with him. This is something I love about God, even if he cannot give you want you want when you want it, he sends you to the right people. I was sitting with a friend at church, venting my frustration about God not answering my prayer about children. Then a friend of hers from Bible School happend by, and between the two of them with their similiar testimonies, within a span of twenty minutes - they brought me back into a peaceful place with God and I told him I was sorry for being angry at him when it was Satan who did this to me. My two unofficial counsellors prayed with me and cried with me, that is something truly speical about my church. They didn't judge my anger at God, they didn't tell me I was wrong or what I felt was bad.
I don't know if my future has children in it - I hope it does.
Oneday I would love to watch a little A. and Sarah running around the house driving eachother crazy with who gets to hog the remote (I have a feeling that's going to be little A!) and little Sarah stealing chocolate chip cookies from the cupboard and changing outfits at least three times a day...because once isn't enough)!
But if God has another plan and purpose for my life - then so be it.
If I can tell you anything that I do know for certain, it is that I am profoundly blessed.
LOVE
A. spoilt me rotten for my birthday a couple of weeks ago with tickets to see Fleetwood Mac at the end of the year in November - with that and our trip to Melbourne for Christmas, the climax of 2015 looks pretty awesome from here! A. and I have been diligent with our exercise, A. espeically has taken the words 'commited and motivated' to a whole new level, he is truly inspiring to me and I told him that at the beach this summer, I'd have to beat the girls within a mile radius off with a stick!
& THE EVERYDAY
With that little scrape bandaged neatly (and tightly), I have decided to invest in other things.
Namely shoes, wine, my new look and once I get a full-time job, private insurance!
Yes, my twenty-six year old hormones are telling me it's time to get serious about such things! (sigh)
Have a great day people!
The day is sunny and bright - a perfect day to chase dreams and tackle them!
- Sarah xx
Emotional and mental scar tissue takes longer to mend than a scrape.
But as a small child I learnt if I kept rubbing that scrape because it was itchy, then the scab where the skin was beginning to heal would rip off and open the wound again.
It's the same thing with the matters of the heart - if you think on the matter too much and itch the scratch, then its going to become infected and sore.
That's how I felt last week - I couldn't leave the scrape alone.
I got angry at God on Wednesday night. And I was mad at him for three days and all because of one scratch which hadn't quite healed.
To make light of the situation that night I said to A. "If I can't have babies, I'll have shoes and wine."
A. chuckled and said. "You're crazy, woman!"
"I saw a picture on Pinterest of a pair of ankle boots, aqua with tassels."
"Uhuh."
"Yeah! I have decided I am going to invest in alot of shoes!"
"Awesome."
It's what every guy wants to hear - that their girlfriend is off on a shoe shopping spree!
The next day at work, I was sitting in the sandpit and one of the little girls smiled at me widely before giving me a hug. It was one of those moments where I think "This is worth all the paperwork." and then I said to God. "If this is all I will ever have, it's enough."
But if I am honest, I was still mad at God.
I went out late-night shopping with one of my good friends, Riss, she's beautiful, loyal and my lucky charm whenever I go shopping with her, because whenever I find something I like - I always get a bargain!
The bargain of the night was $75.00 high wedge black sandals which currently hold a place of honour in my wardrobe. I don't know about you, but I love asian dramas - namely Hana Kimi and Boys Over Flowers.
In Boys Over Flowers, one of the characters says to the lead character. "Beautiful shoes take you beautiful places." Out of all the quirky, cheesy moments in that series, that is my favourite moment and right now, a piece of wisdom that I am all too willing to embrace.
When Sunday morning rolled around, I didn't want to go to church - I didn't want to stand in God's house because I was still angry with him. This is something I love about God, even if he cannot give you want you want when you want it, he sends you to the right people. I was sitting with a friend at church, venting my frustration about God not answering my prayer about children. Then a friend of hers from Bible School happend by, and between the two of them with their similiar testimonies, within a span of twenty minutes - they brought me back into a peaceful place with God and I told him I was sorry for being angry at him when it was Satan who did this to me. My two unofficial counsellors prayed with me and cried with me, that is something truly speical about my church. They didn't judge my anger at God, they didn't tell me I was wrong or what I felt was bad.
I don't know if my future has children in it - I hope it does.
Oneday I would love to watch a little A. and Sarah running around the house driving eachother crazy with who gets to hog the remote (I have a feeling that's going to be little A!) and little Sarah stealing chocolate chip cookies from the cupboard and changing outfits at least three times a day...because once isn't enough)!
But if God has another plan and purpose for my life - then so be it.
If I can tell you anything that I do know for certain, it is that I am profoundly blessed.
LOVE
A. spoilt me rotten for my birthday a couple of weeks ago with tickets to see Fleetwood Mac at the end of the year in November - with that and our trip to Melbourne for Christmas, the climax of 2015 looks pretty awesome from here! A. and I have been diligent with our exercise, A. espeically has taken the words 'commited and motivated' to a whole new level, he is truly inspiring to me and I told him that at the beach this summer, I'd have to beat the girls within a mile radius off with a stick!
& THE EVERYDAY
With that little scrape bandaged neatly (and tightly), I have decided to invest in other things.
Namely shoes, wine, my new look and once I get a full-time job, private insurance!
Yes, my twenty-six year old hormones are telling me it's time to get serious about such things! (sigh)
Have a great day people!
The day is sunny and bright - a perfect day to chase dreams and tackle them!
- Sarah xx
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