Life, Love and the Everyday

From the time I was a little girl, I knew that I wanted to be married. I mean, after seeing Disney princes sing and slay dragons to win the hearts of their princesses - I was totally for it, espeically if I got to wear a Disney style dress (which I did when Alan and I tied the knot.) In my late teens and early twenties, I wondered what it was that made two people decide that they wouldn't run out of things to talk about and to be around each other so much and not get on each other's nerves. I have always been a hopeless romantic and I was happy to learn what this was as I went along. You learn a lot about a person the more you get to know them, you get to know them so well that you can read their face like the pages of a book, you learn about give and take, to appreciate there is a time and place for everything and their pet peeves, the best way to annoy them in a way that they find frustrating yet endearing, what is absolute no-go and yet, they are still a mystery and every...

Back in the 1998, Dawson's Creek was the show to tune into. I was too young to watch it but every now and then, nine year old me would sneak into the lounge room and gawk at the goregousness of Joshua Jackson. I never actually watched a full episode until I binge-watched Dawson's Creek on Stan. Full disclosure. Even at the tender of nine and from the snippets I was able to watch, I was Team Pacey all the way! I don't know how it happened, but The Dawsons Creek CD ended up in our CD stash. My pre-pubescent heart fluttered at the lyrics to Kiss Me by Six Pence None Richer, wept at the sound of Cry Opheila, swooned at the lyrics to Lose Your Way and I belted out the lyrics to Life's A Bitch because nine-year old me didn't know bitch is a swear word. But there is always one song that I'd play on repeat and that was Feels Like Home. Feels Like Home is a love-song, it is about the safety and intimacy of a solid relationship. But for me, what else comes to mind w...

All of us did our best at the beginning of Covid-19, it affected and challenged all of us in different ways. Emotionally, mentally, physically, financially and spiritually. Life as we knew it changed for the foreseeable future, perhaps forever. Before Covid-19, we never thought twice about the germs which could be spread through the handles of plastic grocery basket. We never thought twice about using our hand to press the button at street light. There were so many things we did not think about that we now think about daily. I imagine this is how Adam and Eve felt after being evicted from the Garden of Eden - two bites of forbidden fruit and there they were in a new place where they were afraid, vulnerable and wishing they could go back the way they came. Instead they had to undergo a period of adjustment, learning about their new environment through failing and succeeding - becoming stronger emotionally, mentally and physically so that in time they were not afraid, they were br...

At my old house there was a walking track in the park which led to my prayer bench. Nowadays my prayer bench overlooks the Brisbane River. I used to think the Brisbane River was nothing special. I thought it looked bleak and muddy but it wasn't until I saw it everyday that I saw just how beautiful it is. If you see it at dusk or dawn and how it reflects the colors in the sky, you would understand what I mean. Or the way the mid-morning sun rays leave a trail of glimmering diamonds across the surface that makes you want to swim out to find them. Or how the water becomes greener as it reaches the rivers edge where the mangroves thrive. Or how it becomes a witches cauldron that laps and stirs in different directions. I love the river, how it moves with the grace of a waltz. My favorite time of day is standing at the helm of the ferry and being mesmerised by the water. My thoughts and feelings don't matter because there is so much beauty surrounding me.

Sometimes the things we find hardest to forgive are what other people have done out of love for us. There have been times in my life, (as I am sure there has been for you too) situations where the decision that you could have made for yourself was taken away from you. You may have been told it was in the name of your best interest or some other vague reason though it sure as hell doesn't feel like it at the time or at best, you spend months, even years, hurting over a choice that somebody else made for you that was the opposite of what your heart desired. At the time you may have felt too hopeless to do anything, you may have been too young, you might not have been strong or brave enough to go against a decision that was made by somebody else about a choice that you feel should have been yours. The grief, anger and disappointment we feel weighs heavily on our minds and in that head space we look for somebody to blame. Who would be a better candidate than the ones we feel are ...

Alan and I have lived in our new abode for three weeks this upcoming Sunday and we have settled in really well. Public transport to work is a bit of a time juggle but otherwise, things are going good. What I love about our new home is the ten minute ferry ride I take every early morning and evening. It is absolutely exhilarating standing at the front of the ferry and feeling it glide over small choppy waves. The frigid wind slaps against my face and wakes me up quicker than my morning dose of Moccona. I enjoy watching the enthusiastic kayackers and rowers paddle along the river in the frosty chill of morning, pitting themselves determinedly against the biting wind and rain. At my local park I see children play, families ride their bikes and middle-aged Chinese women do tai-chi in the gazebo and a P.T group being put through their paces. I have been able to pick up on the rythem of this new home and have warmed up to it. I did have my reservations about the move initially but...

I am someone who enjoys the quiet life. Tranquil places off the beaten path, calmness in my soul, stability in my relationships and predictability in my routine. After living three years in our cosy little house in the southside of Brisbane, my husband and I are moving onto a new adventure and in my foreseeable future is a lot of adapting to do. We are moving a little further out, for me this move is very emotional because for the past twenty years I have lived inside a particular grid where I can make my way everywhere, by bus or by foot. We are still going to be on the southside but we're going to the other side of the river, it is the furtherest that I have ever moved and when I am not day-dreaming about the lovely walks I will take, strolling through the local Sunday markets or shopping in my new local supermarket - I am fucking terrified, to tell you the truth. Because this grid that I have lived in for so long is practically imbedded in my bones. I used to hate that grid unt...