Why I Won't Talk About The Wedding
As a little girl growing up, I always dreamt about what my wedding day would look like.
I always knew that I wanted to marry someone who would cherish and love me for myself.
When I was fifteen, I wrote about this my journal - and back then my dream wedding dress was a silk white tutu and ballet shoes! Ah, to be young again!
But over time, through my teens and early twenties, my ideas kept evolving and changing - and after A. proposed I realised that I needed to start from scratch. I'm not the same woman I was when I had all these ideas of how I thought my wedding day would be. The only thing that has remained constant in my youthful desires, was that the man I would marry be loving, faithful and kind.
Four years ago, I found him.
Actually, he found me on a couch... I was the shy wall-flower who couldn't bring myself to talk in a room where nearly everyone was a stranger. And that is how our love story began.
With A. I have become a braver, stronger person - he inspires me everyday and I can't wait to be his wife. I suggested eloping with a few friends and our families because I didn't want a long engagement. But A.wanted this chapter of our love story to be worthy of the years we have spent together so far.
Another reason why I wanted to elope is because being a bride-to-be isn't easy.
There's stuff to organise and people want you to pull answers out of a hat when they ask you a question. And if you don't have an answer - well you clearly don't care.
And if they don't like the answer you give them - they'll let you know in no uncertain terms what they think. And if you assert yourself - you're a bridezilla!
What I have learnt so far about planning a wedding is:
1: It's damn impossible to please everybody...
So I won't.
2: There will always be somebody who somebody else doesn't want to lay eyes on.
3: You learn to take constructive criticism and negative comments in your stride.
4. People always have something to say, especially when it comes to your wedding.
I have learnt to differentiate between constructive criticism- which is thoughtfully worded, gracious and honest.
And then there are negative comments and statements that are dismissive with a light drizzle of mockery and patronisation...
5. You learn to establish boundaries.
Something I have found very frustrating as a bride-to-be, is people giving negative comments/statements without listening to what I envision for my special day.
There have been a couple of times when I have been made to feel like a child who doesn't know what she wants, espeicially if a plan or idea is in the early stages and I haven't ironed out all the details.
That's really not okay.
5. Our Day, Our Way
Every bride and groom deserve to have the day of their dreams.
Weddings are not a one-size-fit-all t-shirt. Some weddings are conservative and traditional, others are rustic grandeur and washed down with beer. There are weddings that are the stuff of fairy-tales.
There are wacky weddings, My Big Fat Greek weddings and My Big Fat Gypsy weddings.
But every wedding is beautiful in its own way, it's a public declaration that two people want to be married in the eyes of their loved ones and God. Take away the frills and fuss and that's what your left with. A life-long commitment and precious memories.
So those of you out there who have friends or family who are tying the knot.
A word of advice:
Please respect the desires of the bride and groom for their special day.
If you want to offer a suggestion or a thought, do so in a kind manner without snideness.
And if all you have to do is be there...show up and have fun - that's the way to show love and support for the bride and groom. Give them precious memories so that when they look back each anniversary, they will remember you and smile.
With that, I leave you for another week.
- Sarah x
I always knew that I wanted to marry someone who would cherish and love me for myself.
When I was fifteen, I wrote about this my journal - and back then my dream wedding dress was a silk white tutu and ballet shoes! Ah, to be young again!
But over time, through my teens and early twenties, my ideas kept evolving and changing - and after A. proposed I realised that I needed to start from scratch. I'm not the same woman I was when I had all these ideas of how I thought my wedding day would be. The only thing that has remained constant in my youthful desires, was that the man I would marry be loving, faithful and kind.
Four years ago, I found him.
Actually, he found me on a couch... I was the shy wall-flower who couldn't bring myself to talk in a room where nearly everyone was a stranger. And that is how our love story began.
With A. I have become a braver, stronger person - he inspires me everyday and I can't wait to be his wife. I suggested eloping with a few friends and our families because I didn't want a long engagement. But A.wanted this chapter of our love story to be worthy of the years we have spent together so far.
Another reason why I wanted to elope is because being a bride-to-be isn't easy.
There's stuff to organise and people want you to pull answers out of a hat when they ask you a question. And if you don't have an answer - well you clearly don't care.
And if they don't like the answer you give them - they'll let you know in no uncertain terms what they think. And if you assert yourself - you're a bridezilla!
What I have learnt so far about planning a wedding is:
1: It's damn impossible to please everybody...
So I won't.
2: There will always be somebody who somebody else doesn't want to lay eyes on.
3: You learn to take constructive criticism and negative comments in your stride.
4. People always have something to say, especially when it comes to your wedding.
I have learnt to differentiate between constructive criticism- which is thoughtfully worded, gracious and honest.
And then there are negative comments and statements that are dismissive with a light drizzle of mockery and patronisation...
5. You learn to establish boundaries.
Something I have found very frustrating as a bride-to-be, is people giving negative comments/statements without listening to what I envision for my special day.
There have been a couple of times when I have been made to feel like a child who doesn't know what she wants, espeicially if a plan or idea is in the early stages and I haven't ironed out all the details.
That's really not okay.
5. Our Day, Our Way
Every bride and groom deserve to have the day of their dreams.
Weddings are not a one-size-fit-all t-shirt. Some weddings are conservative and traditional, others are rustic grandeur and washed down with beer. There are weddings that are the stuff of fairy-tales.
There are wacky weddings, My Big Fat Greek weddings and My Big Fat Gypsy weddings.
But every wedding is beautiful in its own way, it's a public declaration that two people want to be married in the eyes of their loved ones and God. Take away the frills and fuss and that's what your left with. A life-long commitment and precious memories.
So those of you out there who have friends or family who are tying the knot.
A word of advice:
Please respect the desires of the bride and groom for their special day.
If you want to offer a suggestion or a thought, do so in a kind manner without snideness.
And if all you have to do is be there...show up and have fun - that's the way to show love and support for the bride and groom. Give them precious memories so that when they look back each anniversary, they will remember you and smile.
With that, I leave you for another week.
- Sarah x
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